Hi,
I am not quite sure how any of this works. However, I’ve decided that ’enough is enough’ and I need help.
On march 21, 2019 I lost my boyfriend, bestfriend, confidante, soul mate, and my love. We have been together for three years, lived together, and have two dogs together. at 530am I got up for clinical (im a nursing student) and I found him dead on the couch. I proceeded to give him cpr for 11 minutes- knowing that he was cold and blue. I knew he was dead the moment I saw him but continued to give cpr without a momentary break until paramedics arrived.
He was pronounced dead at the hospital. He was 27 years old. We had a bright future together.
We had plans. We had so much more living to do.
His parents who are his next of kin have been sure to rip everything away from me. They tried to get me to vacate my home within 3 days (the home we shared for over 2 years). They tried to do so by lying to me about various things.
long story short I had to unfortunately ask for legal assistance to allow me 60 days to vacate the home. I have been off school wondering around with my two dogs .. staying with my mother.
I was promised his ashes which I have not received. These are people that told me they loved me and welcome me within their family. I know people do weird stuff when it comes to Grief But this is next level.
I have given communication to my parents to deal with my boyfriends parents because Whenever they speak about his physical items I become physically and mentally ill. Oh yah he didn’t have a Will so everything is genuinely a mess. Who has a will at 27? I have been given a leave from school because I’m not even able to cope with the mess of my life. To top it off i lost my job a few weeks before he passed. My life has been completely shattered. I can’t even grieve because of all these other things that are going on.
I miss the person who made things like this better. The person who made me laugh when it wasn’t possible to even make me smile. I miss holding his hand. I miss his smile and his laugh. I miss the way my family loved him. I don’t know how to deal with all this let alone deal with the loss of the person who could make this pain go away. I’m lost, Angry. Sad. Depressed, empty, broken, and feel betrayed by his family. I wanted to honour him in The way I carried out my life but how can I do that when his family wants to take more and more of Myself and him away from me? I need someone to talk to ... please I feel so alone. I want my love back he would know what to say to make this pain go away