Hi Jessicasarah, I agree that I can't make plans or goals.  I got a notice in the mail about an appointment in 6-12 months and then wondered if I would even be here still.  People say just live in the moment but I can't, I have always planned and had a plan and now I am at the mercy of a bunch of cells that do what they want when then want and who knows how long I can stop them.  I often feel like I am an alien in this world now, I am not dead but not really alive in many ways either.  I moved a few  months ago and have had a difficult time with unpacking.  I kept thinking why bother to do it when it will be easier for my family to pack up things when I die and I can make it easier for them to just live out of boxes. A lot of things I think I could do but then say why bother it takes energy and I am going to die. Everyone gives advice but unless they walk in your shoes how can they possible undertstand what it's like to face your mortality each second,minute and hour of each day.

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