Hi Leigh70:
I am so sorry to hear that your brother has cancer and that he will not live much longer. What traumatic news for him and for you and your parents. My heart goes out to your brother and to you and all of your family. In a family when one suffers, all suffer. I hear your frustration and anger about cancer. Yes, indeed, we put a man on the moon and yet still in 2012 this heartless disease claims so many innocent lives!
I understand that you feel worried about so many things right now, Leigh70, including how your parents are coping and how they will manage later, when your brother passes away. To feel overwhelmed by anxiety and emotion as you go through this experience is natural, and yet you bravely continue living your life each day. That requires phenomenal courage!
As a mother I can only imagine how your parents must feel. To face the prospect of losing one's own child is known to be one of the hardest crosses to bear in this life. Your parents are likely completely focused on your brother, doing whatever they can to comfort and console him despite any demands made upon them and they will sacrifice so much of themselves for your brother's sake. I think it would be very hard to persuade them to take time for themselves, yet it is sometimes necessary as they too need comfort and consolation. I am sure your love makes your brother’s and your parents’ heartache feel more bearable.
As your brother's sister, your heart is breaking too Leigh, and you are trying to prepare yourself also for the future without him. You cannot change the outcome for your brother, nor can you spare your parents or yourself from the grief you are all experiencing, but together you will each find your own way to get through the challenges day to day.
Do you have a close friend you can speak with about how you are really doing and feeling inside? Do you realize how strong you are being for your brother and parents? I hope you can answer yes to both questions because you deserve to know how extraordinary you are being in this extremely sad situation! In this moment you are a hero! I feel your tender heart searching for solace as you write, Leigh70, and I wish I could be there to hold you and give you a big hug!
Please write to us again to allow you an emotional outlet for expression as the difficult days and weeks progress. There are others on this site who have experienced similar circumstances who may be able to offer you more help and insight than I, as you do need support. No matter if we have had the same experience as you, Leigh70, we do empathize with you as your story reminds us of our own struggle with illness and with sorrow. We are all here for you. You will not be alone!
Your brother, your parents and you are all in my prayers.
With affection -xo- hugs
Cath1