Hi Angie, I’m sorry to hear about your Mom. You both are so young.
I was 30 when my Mom died. She had advanced breast cancer, when they told us it was terminal, I was feeling exactly what you are describing. My Mom did not want us crying in front of her or want to talk about death. I think it was just too overwhelming for her to deal with her own feelings let alone to see us so sad, she asked us to be strong.
Like you, I thought “how can I say goodbye to a person I love so very much?” So, instead of goodbye, I decided to thank her for being such a loving and wonderful mother. I remember sitting down with her one day when she was still feeling okay. I told her how much I loved her and how she was such a very good Mom. She told me that she loved me so much and that she had appreciated that I had taken care of her because it made the whole thing less stressful for her. She told me that she wouldn’t worry about me because she knew I was a strong person (when things get tough nowadays, I think of her saying those words).
She died about 2 weeks later. I don’t think I actually said good bye until after she passed. I am okay with that because I told her what I needed to say.
I hope this helps.
Thinking of you,
GWTBB
PS- I think it’s serendipity that you posted on the 28th. It’s the sixth anniversary of my Mom’s death.