Hello Buckwheat.  Moll here.

I'm so sorry to hear that you too are going through this tumultious journey.  It's ugly.  The only sucess I have had in coping is living in the moment.  That's especially difficult for me who has PTSD and relives every seizure...but I still talk to myself:  "You're okay, you've got this"  Yeah, it's a lie, cuz I'm so less than okay and I'm so stressed all of the time...but I keep talking the talk....hoping one day I will beleive myself.

The social workers at the BC Cancer Agency were useless for me.  I was bounced around to 5 different ones, all treating me like a number rather than a person who risks losing her husband. I finally found an excellent grief counsellor privately.  I do beleive she will save my life.  She is in Vancouver.  I have hope that I will survive this...although I will walk out of the storm so very differently as to when I walked into it.

You speak of the feeling of isolation.  It is so true.  We are so consumed by our thoughts that we are not reachable to those who have not shared out trauma.  So we resort to places like this.  To people who understand, withouth judgement....I'm grateful.

You are not alone, Buckwheat.  That's the sad part.  There are way too many of us.  So why are there no support groups so we can meet face to face and actually form a human connection? 

I'm here if you want to talk.

Hang in.

Moll.