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Reply by Xenia
15 Nov 2014, 4:53 PM

Good Morning:

Good on you Old Bat, I am so pleased you have good news and that you and Karl will be able to share to the world how you coped and are coping with his stroke.  I would dearly love to see the video as our son in law had a stroke about 5 years ago and although he is very functional he has moments where he is very angry, etc and this is a young man, 52 years of age.  He is lucky it happened in a part of the brain that did not impair him but if it had been a larger bleed he would have passed or been a vegetable.  The hard thing is that my daughter is young and they are both young and having to live with some of his moods are desparing.  I do not interfere, she does not tell me, she talks to our other daughters and I get it through the grapevine as I try to be a good mother and mother in law and let them deal with it.  I am there for support for her when she is down but I do not ask too many questions other than asking her if she is telling the doctor her husband's mood changes as at times she fears he may strike her.  He is such a loving man, great worker, etc, though he is not working he does do some plumbing work for us and friends but it takes him longer.  So, we all deal with strokes in our own way.

Old Bat, if your video is available let me know so I can get my daughter to view it.

Speaking of daughters, one just called from Vancouver, I live over the bridge into the valley and she is doing my shopping for me this morning.  She can;t go to her usual exercise group as she can't get her shoe on due to striking her foot and toe against our son's shoe.  She has been going to work in a slipper and it has been cold here, oh well siblings even in their older age seem to get along and have their moments.

John and I had our flu shots yesterday, the pharmacist came over and did them.  Thank goodness as John seemed to hone into this shot and it became a mantra for him.  When is Pinder coming with the shots, I would tell him that there is a shortage of vaccine and when Pinder gets it he will be here stat.  Seems John is becoming more adjated lately (spelling) and the nurses tell me it can be from the medicaitons or pain, etc.  So one treatment at a time, pain pills for pain, Nitro for his heart, insulin, nebulizer and oxygen and so it goes.  Thanks goodness this new adjation is not too bad yet as he has been so good and not a bother at all.  Accepting of all things but frustrated when he can't remember words and such.

The nurse said she might be over this morning as it has been a week since they did a home visit.  I get 3 hrs. respite to-day so I will get out of the condo and see some new sights.  Sure hope the stores aren;t playing Christmas music and all that as it depresses me.  Besides, we are celebrating John's 86th birthday on the 20th, kids are coming from Vancouver and Langley.  Will be a good time for all, they wanted to do it on the weekend but most are working shifts so they opted for Thursday the day of his birthday.

Good friends I must sign off now as I am awaiting the nurse, John is in bed and I spilled water on the living room rug last nite.  Was soaking my feet to relax and voila, water on the floor.  Have to spread some towels on the spot and hope for the best.

Take care.

Xenia,,,spelled it correctly as last time I sure had some spelling, hit the wrong keys. 
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Reply by NatR
15 Nov 2014, 5:03 PM

Morning Xenia and all:)

i think the word  you were searching for is agitation:) and no worries - we can read through typos and spelling issues - thank goodness as the spellcheck on this phone and on the forum seem to work together to misspell everything :)

have a good day all - we are finally coming out from under a four day snowstorm that left us plowinh and struggling to walk on the messy sidewalks

I have a feeling we will get a lot more!!

xenia it's hard to hear what your daughter and son in law are going through:( and I admire your ability to keep a bit removed and offer support

you are right to encourage your daughter to share about the anger or frustration issues your son in law is going through - it's importany to share that .

hoping you all have sunshine today.
Best wishes all round ,
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Reply by Xenia
15 Nov 2014, 5:51 PM

Hi Nat;

I know now my spelling was wrong, that was the only grade lol, that I made 100s in in schoold, math forget it, and here I am mispelling words.  Must be old age or tanserance, I laughed when I saw the correct spelling and thought what a dim wit you are Xenia.

Oh well, life goes on and I love that we can help each other.  It is sunny and cold to-day, have to put on some sox, hate them, born free in the prairies and I still love to walk barefoot, even though mother used to give me what for for walking barefoot. 

Take care, John is up and daughter on her way. Nurse called instead of visiting and told me I was entitled to more hours.  

Talk to you soon.   I am always in a hurry, must be that I am still the middle child of 14 and I have to go go go and type the same way.  Old Remington Rand typewriters taught me that.

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Reply by oldbat
18 Nov 2014, 3:27 PM

Hi Xenia,

Sorry for the late reply - life, or a reasonable facisimile thereof - intervened.  Here's the link to the video:   http://phantamedia.com/client-files/1145-IAMKARL/v2   

 I believe you did see it, I posted it earlier in my incarnation on CVH.  (Sorry for formatting change - tried to fix it, but it wouldn't cooperate!)  I'm sad to hear about the anger you s-i-l feels.  Apparently that can be one of the nastier side effects of a serious stroke.  It rarely happens with Karl, but when it does I do my damndest to make him laugh.  That usually works.

To all of you out there, struggling and suffering, my thoughts, prayers and hopes are with you.  You are truly remarkable people.

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Reply by KathCull_admin
19 Nov 2014, 2:09 AM

Xenia, I have been thinking about you since I read your post on Tuna’s thread today.  You know John so well you are able to anticipate his every need and keep your sense of humour.

Wishing that he would be able to go and hoping he will stay for his birthday celebration – that’s a tension isn’t it. 

Hope you and John rest well tonight Xenia.   


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Reply by Jimmie
19 Nov 2014, 2:59 PM

Sorry about not writing sooner.  Health Canada invited Sarah and me to take part  in a study and we have been gone for a couple of weeks.  At Stevie's expense, we spent sixteen days on Sable Island living in a tent (army surplus), and learning about the nutritional value of beach grass.  The theory is that since the horses out there do so well - winter or no wnter - pehaps humans might do the same.  If so, voila, our cirsis in suitable nursing homes will be solved (canvas being considerably cheaper than brick and morter), our carbon emissions substatially reduced (we will each be provided one hundred of those hand held twirly things you buy at toy stores to generate wind power), and the two and a half operational Canadian Navy vessels in Halifax can remain permanently in port as we'll be expected to guard the East Coast by patrolling the shoreline twice a day with a set of plastic knives and a photo of Justin Bieber for personal defence.

Though I am flush with patriotic pride, I must say we are both happy to be back on the mainland.  Steve has phoned me to ask that I not reveal the results of this research of course, so you will hear no more about it I'm afraid. I would ask, as well, that you delete this email  immediately after reading it. Steve gets upset about such things as you know.

Anyway, that's the news from me and the missus. We are back in our own beds, watching old re-runs of The Ed Sullivan Show, and listening to Joni Mitchell LP's,  Could be worse.

Hope you are all well - as well as can be.  WOke up as I mentioned very early this morning and while fumbling with a prescription bottle looked out the kitchen widow.  There was a startlingly silver sliver of a moon resting on its side in an ink black sky above the skeletal trees on the street.  It was an absolutely magnificnet sight. An absolutely remarkable, beautiful, sight - we are more than we take ourselves to be.  WE are more than Stevie and his ilk would have us be.  There is something about us that exists in deep kinship with that sliver of moon.  That absolutely remarkable beauty and relationship remains at the heart of things - though we might only catch a startled glimpse of it from time to time - it remains...it remains....it is the true measure of our lives!

See ya all

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Reply by Nouce
19 Nov 2014, 4:39 PM

Dear Jimmie,

     I wish I could be half as entertaining about the folks running the show down here. But they wouldn't ever consider something so crazy. I guess the moderator will have to delete, cause as far as I can tell this top secret infomration is in the blogosophere!

     Meantime, thank you for reminding us "we are more than we take ourselves to be." Last night I couldn't sleep because it was so cold, and I'm sleeping on a floor bed near to Pablo to be more ready in case of emergency. I was feeling very small. Should have looked at the moon! May you and all of us be blanketed with this warm promise.


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Reply by Jimmie
19 Nov 2014, 6:35 PM

Ah, Nouce, sometimes the world has a way of grinding us down making dust of our dreams and the image we might have of ourselves. But so much of who we claim to be is paper thin anyway, artifice, contrivances of one sort or another - protection from   the "howlin' wind" as Bob Dylan puts it. What lies beneath is deeper, richer, more wonder-full.  From time to time the air grows still and we meet that inarticulate other in the eyes of the one before us and are struck by his or her inherent beauty, by his or her wounded blessedness.

I have seen that in you "cold and small" curled up beside the one you care for, a slant of silver moonlight on the floor. You know not who you are.  You are, in your forgetfulness, the best that we can be. Such are the wandering stars of winter I choose to honour and to follow. Such is this league of pilgrims we have come to know.

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Reply by moderator | modératrice
19 Nov 2014, 11:50 PM

FYI (not FBI):
Not only will I not delete the above top secret study details, I have submitted the entire story as a skit to Second City!

Jimmie, long live outrageous humour. I have to admit I was transported to Sable Island and wishing I could have joined you and Sarah (in warmer weather). I have a friend of a friend who conducts research of seals on Sable Island and have seen magnificent photography of the island in all seasons. My friend has a magnificent way of capturing the desolate and the beauty.

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Reply by jorola
20 Nov 2014, 1:42 AM

Oh Jimmie you crack me up.

Oldbat, the video of you and Karl brought tears to my eyes. The love between you two is powerful. My first husband had a brain bleed resulting in a massive stroke when he was 24 and i was 22. It was the day after our son's second birthday. My dad was posioned by carbon monoxide which caused a stroke. Their recoveries were very different.  my husband laid down and gave up. we tried everything with my husband but he wanted to be waited on. my dad fought and fought. It took time but he went back to work as a safey officer and made more money and enjoyed his new work. Karl reminds me of my dad. I am not surprised he is walking now. I understand those struggles and you two have come through as champs. Thank you so much for sharing.
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