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Reply by AdoptedSon
08 Sep 2014, 6:56 PM

Thank you all, reading this thread has made this a good Monday.   Woke me up a bit too, I thought I was the only "old fart' haunting this forum. LOL

Thank you all 
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Reply by oldbat
08 Sep 2014, 7:47 PM

Not to worry Adopted Son.  Our name is legion!  Welcome.

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Reply by Xenia
08 Sep 2014, 8:11 PM

Welcome Aboard Adopted Son:

Good to see another with the same first name:  Old, must be genetic.

As you can see we Oldbats, Jimmie, and myself do not sit around pondering the future, we make the future.  Soaps are not for us as we know how to use the grey matter and I don't mean the grey on top.

Come on in the waters fine.


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Reply by frustrated
09 Sep 2014, 1:01 AM

I want to thank all of you for making my day better. It started out bad and only got worse and I was feeling really sorry for my self. Then I read this forum and it really made me realize there are so many of use caregivers. Thank you for sharing, you have put a smile on my face.
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Reply by oldbat
09 Sep 2014, 2:10 AM

Welcome Frustrated.  glad to see we managed to put a smile back on your face.  Drop in often. you'll find that we specialize in smiles.  And we're always happpy to get one in return!

Xenia and Jim,  sorry I haven't replied to your earlier posts.  Mondays are always hard.  Karl comes here for a few hours each Sunday and the place echoes with emptiness for a day or two.

It's been so great to greet some "newbies".  Please visit often.  We're all very entertaining.  Totally insane.  But entertaining nontheless.   And both rants and raves are welcome.

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Reply by Xenia
09 Sep 2014, 2:49 PM

Welcome Frustrated:

Good Morning All:

Oldbat don't feel you have to respond to our messages stat.  Life goes on and we have to do what we can when we can.

John had a bad night, I had a wakeful night.  He woke up yelling telling me he thinks he is going.  Had bad back pain after dinner last nite, his cancer is acting up again and this morning ate his oatmeal and juice and back to bed as his back is sore again.

Palliative care nurse comes to-day and also the hair dresser.  We have a hairdresser called Hair on Wheels and we get our hair cut in our home which makes it easier both for John and myself as I do not drive and depend on our son for transportation other than Handi dart which John is too ill to take anymore.

Feeling a bit under the weather with not sleeping most of the night so I will wish you all a good day at this time and will be in touch.  Oh by the way, I did mail off my diatrabe, or whatever to the newspapers about palliative care and trust in the higher power that it will be printed.  If not, will try again.

Take care. Hugs to all.


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Reply by Xenia
10 Sep 2014, 1:17 PM

Good Morning All:

Just checking in.  Been up since 3:00 a.m, sounds like the old tune for us oldies, It's 3:00 clock in the morning and I;ve danced the whole night through.  Sort of.  Watched John most of the night as he just wasn;t comfortable.

Missed his hair cut yesterday as he slept and slept.  Dr. called and will be making a visit sometime this week.  All else going well.  To-day my 4 hr respite so will do some shopping and get out of the house.

It is getting cooler in the mornings now, have to close more windows which I keep open for cool air during the hot clime but fall is nigh and you can feel the coolness in the condo.  Leaves are beginning to turn and I see more jackets on pedestrians.  Umbrellas next as this is the wet coast.

Yesterday, I think I had a near panic attack when the dr. called to renew John;s meds.  I always feel that I am answering to a teacher...goes back to my school days, guess, I know I am doing everything correctly, however, when he asks me how is John;s weight, I panic as I have not weighed him this past two weeks, mia culpa, I get that good old guilty feeling and don't know why.  I know I have everything else under control and the dr has told me I am doing great but that darn guilt..anyone else feel this - that they should or are not doing as well as they should looking after their loved one.

Not much else going on at this moment .  it is 6:14 in the a.m. here so I shall sign off, get John's meds ready, his nebulizer, insulin, etc and breakfast.  Will have coffee with him and will play a game of solitaire while he watches as his eye sight has deteriorated so much more, has macular degeneration in one eye and blind in the other so his vision is very poor.  We loved to play solitaire when we lived up country.  Learned so many games now my memory reclls only the easy ones. What gives"

Take care and newcomers welcome and get on board

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Reply by JennJilks
10 Sep 2014, 1:37 PM

I consider myself an advocate, having had to do so for my late mother and father. I so laud the task achievement of 'oldbat!' 
I try to provide information for my clients, as I am a volunteer with hospice here near Perth, ON.
When I volunteered in Muskoka, I knew a client was in pain, but the nurse denied it. I found information and gave it to the family. The nurse called my supervisor, who was told to tell me off. 

Another client (WW II vet - pilot), in a retirement home, had pneumonia, which I diagnosed (lowly little me!) and I secretly speed-dialed and called the family to let them know the client was a) dirty, b) sick, c) unable to feed himself. They tried to get me in trouble for that one, too! But the client was seen by the doctor, the home nurse was useless, and his sheets were changed, room cleaned. ('Room' they put him in a cleaned out storage room, as the elevator was broken and he couldn't stay in his real room on the 2nd floor.)  My supervisor here was supportive, as we were on the same page, colluding. I took in Ensure for him, since the home was pureeing foods, badly, i.e., pork and beans) and he was hungry. The family was in denial. It is so worth it, advocating,  isn't it? They sent in a new volunteer until he passed away, she said I'd made a differnce. I ended up with a physical injury, they didn't have a chair for me as I stayed with him for 5 hrs., until the CCAC's PSW came in to feed him dinner, and I ended up on physio. 

These are the stories we must tell, of how to make the powers-that-be listen to our personal stories and adapt the "Aging at home" strategies work on an individual basis. 
I have come across many CCAC staff who feel they must guard the pennies they provide for services.
There is strength in reading your stories. I find much to educate me.
Thank you, all, for sharing yours.  
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Reply by NatR
10 Sep 2014, 2:18 PM

Hi everyone and Jenn thanks for adding your input from the community.  It's another reminder of how important it is for each of us to be observant & speak up for clients or friends or family if we feel it's necessary.

its sad that with homecare you should not have to worry - but families still need to watch over loved ones.

my hat goes off to each of you doing caregiving.  It's a heartfelt gift to your loved ones  

wishing each of you a good day
it's raining in northern Ontario but it's winter in Alberta - brrr
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Reply by NatR
10 Sep 2014, 5:23 PM

Hello everyone
Xenia - I meant to respond to your note
i know exactly what you mean when you get asked questions by the dr or nurse or whomever and you panic and feel like you don't have the  answer - that you should have known the answer and that you are guilty, letting your husband down, letting everyone else down - Yep!! That's me too

you aren't alone - I know exactly what you mean:)
dont feel badly - you are there all the time doing a great job - abc if you miss something once in awhile - it's not a crime
hugs from me to you
hope today is going well:)
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