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Reply by Xenia
25 Jul 2015, 5:37 PM

Good Morning Kathleen or Colleen:

Could you please let me know, if possible, what the problem is with my email acount as O am not receivng notices of emails any of the group on this message board.

Do I have to re enter all my info which I did originally or????.  I do get the notices from Canadian Virtual Hospice but not from any of the groups.


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Reply by moderator | modératrice
25 Jul 2015, 8:20 PM

Hi Xenia,

I will contact tech support and get to the bottom of this. One quick question first -

1. Click on this page of the forums
2. Do you see the Subscribe button (red circle) or the word "Unsubscribe" (blue circle) as in the picture below?


If you see the Subscribe button, click it and then you will receive notifications again.

Let me know if this works.
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Reply by Xenia
26 Jul 2015, 1:40 AM

Hi Colleen:

When I go to page 1 of this forum I see the unscribe in a tan colour, no subscribe.  Hate to lose this forum, I get so much help and comfort from these pages which I reread time and time again.

Thanks for your help.  Perhaps the subscribe button just evaporated??

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Reply by oldbat
29 Jul 2015, 1:54 PM

Hi all,

Sorry for the long silence.  Things just seem to go from bad to worse here.  Had to replace Karl's wheelchair last month.  BIG bucks (even with government funding) and the company that provided it put us through HELL.  Then he needed new glasses. Two pairs.  That set me back another $1000.  New summer clothes - won't even go there.  To cap it all, his annual rate at the long-term care home has gone up over $200 a month, leaving him with less that $1000 a year to live on.  I'm at my wit's end.  Anything and everything he needs is provided and paid for by me - out of my puny CPP (long story!).  Just don't know where to turn.

Karl just goes merrily along - too brain-damaged to discuss my concerns with.  And there is no-one to turn to for help.  I've called the book-keeper at the home, who says that's what the Ministry mandated, based on last year's "income".  Called the Ministry of Health, who will get back to me within three days.  Am seeing our accountant tomorrow.

This is  just no way to live.

I do miss you all.  Have been reading everyone's posts but just to overwhelmed and worried to share.


oldbat :(
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Reply by Nouce
29 Jul 2015, 2:03 PM

I am so sorry, Old bat! The world of the caregiver, especially for the long-term disabled, is full of traps, blocks, snafus and disappointments. I know!

Sending thoughts your way. I don't know what to hope for, only to say I care about you.

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Reply by KathCull_admin
29 Jul 2015, 2:58 PM

Being a caregiver is not for the faint of heart. I echo you Nouce - I care for you Oldbat (and you Nouce and all the other members - dare I say friends on the forum).

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Reply by oldbat
29 Jul 2015, 2:59 PM

Thanks Nouce,

I do appreciate the kind thoughts.

What I simply do NOT understand is why I, as the sole care-giver and support, am not allowed to write any of what I provide (pay for!) for him off my taxes.  It just doesn't seem fair.  My own rent just went up over $100 a month.  doesn't sound like much, I know, but added to the increase in Karl's and everything I've had to shell out for him this year, it's a financial disaster.  

He is completely dependent on me for everything.  And the burden is becoming intolerable.  I love him to death, but am getting really scared about what this is doing to my health and ability to keep on.

 Sorry for yet another whine.

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Reply by NatR
29 Jul 2015, 3:05 PM

Dear Oldbat,

As Nouce said, I hear you and am thinking of you.
The plight of seniors is serious.  I know very well about what you speak.  Couples cant afford to share a room in long term care...they need to legally separate so they can afford it.  That is helpful?  I would say not.

I am so sorry you are stressing about the cost of necessary things.  No one can possibly live on the pensions we have.  The cost of living rises, the cost of necessities, and we are left scraping and stressed beyond believe.

another thing that no one seems to realize...so many struggle...and your struggle brings it home to us.
Keep talking, keep calling, keep asking.
Awareness is what is needed.  It is an election year and we can make our voices heard.
Thinking of you...and hoping that you can keep treading water...and your next note will have a bit of good news in it.

I also care about you,
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Reply by Xenia
30 Jul 2015, 3:46 PM

Dear Old Bat and All:

So sorry to hear about your financial problems.  Keep talking to us and talk to your goverment offices, is there an obudsman or seniors advocate you can get in touch with.  I agree that the expenses you pay for should be tax deductable, however, this is exactly what I have been advocating for and about.

The unfairness of this to a caregiver is past rediculous and somehow, somewhere there has to be a solution.  I went through much of this for years and until John was listed a palliative some of the caregiver expenses were taken care of by our government of BC.  We were fortunate that we have a good medical plan which covered many of the items you speak of.  Surely there must be some government subsidy for exactly what you are going through.

I keep writing, talking, actually becoming a pain in the butt for anyone who will listen to me about all you and other seniors are going through.  For the few that can afford to pay for care it appears the departments who look after funding do not take into account that the seniors who have worked, paid taxes, etc are not always financial capable to the extra items needed for themselves and their spouses as their finances were based on previous wages and with the cost of living going up many cannot afford to pay for care, etc.

I am with you, Old Bat, supporting you in anyway I can and will continue to voice the needs of caregivers in our country.  

My computer is not sending messages to my email regarding who has posted so I am behind in writing.  Some day this will be corrected and I will be on top of things again.

 My family is worried that I may need extra care since I had the knee injury so there is movement on my moving and selling my condo and getting into a proper facility before I need more help.  Heaven help me, I appreciate their caring, etc, I am not too ill or disabled so I smile and listen.  I know they care very much and as they state, mom, we do not need your money (whatever there is of it), spend it and enjoy your life.   I laughingly tell them they are more worried about who is going to look after me or have to have me move in with them.  They of course say, she can take you or this one can take you or Mom spend your money and look after yourself.  I think they are trying to be gracious and tell me nicely, mom we don't want you living with us.  lol

We are all strong women and can be a pain to each other so we talk, yell, argue things out and blood being thicker than water we come to a good conclusion of what needs to be done.  Everyone who knows us thinks it is wonderful my kids are so concerned and helpful.  I am thankful for that as well.

All for now, OldBat, hugs to you and hoping some help will come your way and help you with your financial situation.

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Reply by Xenia
07 Aug 2015, 1:58 AM

Greetings from the Cool West:

We have rain, whopee.  What a grand feeling, cool air, clean air and wet.  I am happy.

My week has been filled with great things, some sad, some trying some with changes coming.

Monday, my friends and I decided to go on the Sea to Sky hiway for a short drive.  We drove to Squamish, then on to Whistler.  What beautiful country we live in, mountains snow capped, rivers, the Pacific Ocean, dry creek beds from lack of rain and snow this past winter and summer.  Beautiful viewing points and open air.  We picnicked along the way and enjoyed a wonderful time.  3 aging beauties hitting the road looking for changes in our lives.  Too soon we part company.  My friend Doris returns to Kelowna, Suzzane goes for surgery and I return home to changes in my life.

Monday evening I interviewd a realtor and am putting my condo on sale.  Made up my mind now that my leg and shoulders are giving me what for and winter will be upon us, yes, I know it is still summer then we have fall or is it autumn, then the raining season, then snow.

Tuesday, A.M. spent the day contemplating if I had done the right thing, then my knee started aching, my shoulders protested in pain, and yes I did the right thing.

Wednesday, went to the Independent living Chartwell building and signed on to move into my new home September 5, 2015,. "Went to my dear friends funeral in the afternoon and knew then that I did the right thing for sure.  She was isolated for many years living on her daughter's farm far from friends etc.  Came home and teary eyed went about looking at what I need what I don't need to take with me as everything is supplied, lunch, dinner and continental breakfast.  Movie theatre, apartment cleaning once a week, bed clothes washed weekly.  Free laundry service across the hall from me, exercise room, etc. etc.  All I do is make sure I have $$$$$ in the bank each month.

To-day I am alone, Doris, my nurse is off visiting and I have been going through old papers, etc. putting them through the shredder as I have had some since 2002, old receipts for fridges, dishwasher, etc that have gone to recyling.

I will miss some of my friends in this condo setting as I have been here for 15 years but winter is coming on, I will be alone for the first time in 59 years and will have to go trhough John's birthday, Christmas and New Years alone, with the kids but without him so the change shoujld help.  I am trying to be pregmatic but we shall see.

I still do not get messages on my email and have tried to fix it but will try again.  I miss all of you very much and look forward to hearing from you but know you all have busy lives so I will continue to write and tell you of my adventures here in the West.

Miss you all , hugs to you

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