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Reply by NatR
12 Sep 2014, 2:25 PM

Dear Jim,

echoing Katherines wish for you today
come through the storm and see a blue sky on the other side...
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Reply by AdoptedSon
12 Sep 2014, 3:10 PM

Storms sometimes seem non stop, but they do end, and the sudden view of a rainbow, a clear blue sky makes it all feel better. Here's hoping yours is on its way.
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Reply by Xenia
12 Sep 2014, 3:17 PM


Your poem, thoughts filled my heart.  The feelings you presented are so real that I thought you were writing about me.

Then of course, you have hit the nail on the head and your musings are the feelings of many of the caregivers :Sometimes the weight of the day is too heavy to lift." How true and my heart aches over the other lines which speaks of our feelings."

Thank you for your lovely peom or thoughts.  Nurse was over yesterday and spoke of her mother passing a month ago and how her own brother told her she was making her mother sick and he never believed she was as ill as stated.  Of course, our loved ones will most certainly put on a smile, be brave and happy when a child, visitor or such comes over and perks up. They do not see the daily events that go on with the ill patient.  Therefore, be we wife, husbnd, nurse or other we all face the same problems nursing a loved one,

Getting ready for John's bath day and  good friend is coming from Chilliwack (in the valley) for  visit this morning. Will be glad and happy to see her.

Take care

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Reply by oldbat
12 Sep 2014, 4:24 PM

Dear Jimmie,

Think of us all as filling those cupboards with warmth, kindness and  good thoughts , all leavened with a little dash of humour to help you through the dark.

Think of us as reversing that wheel, refreshing your spirit with all the patience, affection and endurance you need to make it through your day.

Think of us as helping you to lift that load, carrying you with it to a place of rest and peace.

Think of us as so many fellow-sufferers, who have benefitted so much from your warmth, wit and kindness, and now want only to give back what you chosen to bless us with, so many times.

Think of us.  And know that we are thinking of you,

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Reply by moderator | modératrice
15 Sep 2014, 4:09 PM

Such lovely words of caring, carrying with, warmth and kindness from all of you for Jimmie. 

AdoptedSon: can you share some of your rainbow's?

OldBat and Xenia, How were your weekends? NatR What news do you have to share?
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Reply by NatR
15 Sep 2014, 4:53 PM

Hello everyone and our lovely moderator Colleen and her wonderful colleague Katherine

its really heartwarming  to see the thoughtfulness and kindness everyone is sharing in support of each other 

the active threads and comments on burdens, feelings of fatigue and loneliness are being met with replies of encouragement and understanding.

today I wish each of the readers to feel and know that their conversation here is so helpful to others.

each one brings their story to life, which reminds us all - no matter who or where we meet - each has a secret part of their heart that needs TLC
its one of my favorite quotes - and I don't recall the author but it goes like this

 be kind to those you meet today, you have no idea what pain or burden  they are carrying inside.

this is about each of us...
A thougtful comment, an encouragement to posts, all makes a difference

I find that each person who posts on the forum has a unique story with a common thread.  Don't feel that you are alone - support is just a keyboard away;) 
I am grateful to Virtual Hospice for creating a safe place to share , vent and find tools to help them through the Caregiving and Grief process 

wishing each of you strength to do today what needs to be done.
best wishes and thoughts,
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Reply by Jimmie
15 Sep 2014, 6:23 PM

Thanks to all for the generous support of late.  Difficult days and nights.  Lack of sleep does a real number on your capacity to remain balanced - standing upright.  Hard to keep sight of the lighthouse in the midst of the storm when your eyes are all but closed.

I have decided to follow Old Bat, and Old Bag in to the pool.  I have joined a local Co-ed Seniors Synchronized Swimming Troupe.  Apparently. you don't need to know how to swim to be a member.  All the routines are done in the shallow end of the pool where the water is barely wizened-ankled deep.  We still wear nose plugs and bathing caps (neon blue and pink) and customized sequined swim suits ( about the only thing that actually "sparkles" during our performances).  Only two others have joined the troupe as yet both of whom suffer greatly from severe aquaphobia.  They are here as part of some leather-elbowed dolt's misguided therapeutic strategy. They participate glassy-eyed with fear from the deck. Nevertheless, I think that once we work out a few technical challenges such as increasing our capacity to hold our breaths, we will be spectacular.  We drink a lot after each practice.  Sorry if that offends any of you.  It's a Maritime tradition. Not my fault - good for the nerves of the two neurotics and excellent for my singing voice ( or so it seems to me!).

The thing is, as my good friend Zorba the Greek once said: “Every man has his folly, but the greatest folly of all … is not to have one.”  Nothing wrong with a bit of silliness.  Wakes the angels to the tedium of their holy lives and makes them envious of us - blessed as we are with the capacity to wrinkle the flatness of some of our days with the grace of foolishness.
Have to go pump a little iron - the physique is a little hard on the eyes, particularly my own.

All the best, my friends!

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Reply by oldbat
15 Sep 2014, 6:44 PM

Hi Jimmie,

LOVED the description of you in all your tinselly glory.  Wrinkles be damned!  Wear 'em proudly, you've earned 'em honestly.  As for the drinking, you go guy!  It's a great Celtic traditin,one I'm proud to part of.

Have to go out now, but wanted you to know we sympathize, empathize and, if we could (well, some of us, anyway!) would be happy raise a glass- and maybe even the roof. 

Back at ya later.  oldbat 
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Reply by AdoptedSon
15 Sep 2014, 7:23 PM

Ah just remember, raise the roof only when its not raining or snowing, it could ruin the sequences. 

As to pumping iron and getting in shape, I prefer my ancient solution, I got rid of the mirrors and all things shiny in the house.  

Cheers and raise one glass for moi,  
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Reply by Xenia
16 Sep 2014, 2:41 PM

Good Morning All:  

Welcome aboard Jim, bathing beauties is what we need as long as the men do not wear speedos' .  In my old age I still have a vestage of good outer wear at the pool and beach.  Surely, I do not want you to wear the old type of bathing outfits of yore with long pants and vests.  As far as the drink after, good on you.  Why break tradition.  

Adopted Son, I thought I was the only one who got rid of any mirrors that showed more of my body from the neck down.  I close my eyes as I pass the windows on the department stores as what I see is this strange looking elderly woman pushing her walker or shopping basket.  I don't know who she is but she sure follows me around.

Old bat - I remembered your true name.  Trust all is well with you.

Here we had a number of bad days and I had to call the crisis line, just to talk to someone as it was 6:00 p.m. and I knew the kids were having dinner and had been over earlier in the day and John looked so great.  Then, he took a turn for the worse. Seems when he eats he cannot breath, has chest pains, etc. etc. So into action and then wait until he goes to sleep and I can breath.  One more turn and he got through it.  Called our Citys' crisis line just to vent for a moment as I had a moment of "is this it?"  Just to hear another voice and share a moment of despair.  Got over that and back to the routine.

John was too ill to have his hair cut last week so the Hair On Wheels lady is coming over at 10:00 a.m. and he will have it cut and of course he said>  For the last time." I surely do not know what is keeping him going but he seems to have some extra spirit that keeps him going after his many relapses so we deal with it one day at a time.

Old Bat:  Thanks for the info about putting my letter into other communicaiton venus.  I did email it to one of the larger and province wide newspaper, however, forgot to buy the Sunday paper.  Monday, my friend emailed me and said it was in the newspaper.  Good on that.  Tried to find it on their website but to no avail.  She is sending me the whole page so I can see their theading.  The heading for my letter in the local paper said:  Support better home care."  Will have to get the paper to-day and see if there was any response.

To-morrow, I am going out with a friend for the 4 hours respite I have.  Might go to the Casino and see if I can win a fortune, if not we will go for lunch and visit our friend who has just had her breast cancer surgery.  Every where you turn it seems someone is worse off than yourself so I try to keep on top of my feelings.

Off I go, John is sitting in the living room listening to the morning news.  He wanted to shave this a.m. and I will attend to that.  

Take care and remember you know who loves you best:  The Tax Man.

Hugs to all.


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