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Reply by Xenia
08 Sep 2015, 4:15 PM

Good Morning All:

One week since my move to my new home.  The move was uneventful, went smooth and of course the family was here to help with the transition.

My days are about the same as when I lived in the Condo with John, of course, the move is by myself.  I have a bed, TV, love seat sofa, computer and end tables and such.  I wait for my chairs and other itmes that have been ordered and need to be manufactured, ie Lazyboy chair for myself as I am too short for the regular ones, also need it to be electric as I have short arms and can't reach the levers to go up and down.  Ah, being short and petite...lol, short I am but petite...mon dieu NON

I seem to be fitting in well, sorta, was having a conversation with my the residents at the breakfast table.  Of course, we spoke of the election etc, and being the political person I am I mentioned palliative care, etc.  Majority agreed, however, on lady stated, we are too old for politics.  Here we go again, the very people who need the help just feel they cannot do anything.  Will have to watch myself as I may become the persona non grata, or however you spell it.  So I will observe and study my companions and see what happens.

Nat, your last post was so good, you have been through a lot and shared so much with us and we learn much from you and all who are on CVH.  So much to learn and share what we all have gone or are going through.  With my brother's passing there is much to do for his family as he was estranged from his children.  My son in law and myself were Committeeship for him for the past 10 years now we have to get a lawyer, etc and settle is estate as the public trustee signs off after his death.  Going to VAncouver on the 15th to see a lawyer and put all this into her hands and do it legeally, not that we couldn't do it ourelves, however, we want all the is dotted and the t's crossed so there is no question about  settling the estate.

OldBat where are you, trust you are not under the weather. Jimmie, I know you have been helping out with your family.  How is Sarah doing?  Nounce  have you got Pablo settled in and how are you doing since this move?

I am getting ready to head for the sit and be fit exercise lessons so off I go and have to sign off.  Keeps me limber and may help me with the badknee.

Hugs to all.

Xenia 
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Reply by Jimmie
08 Sep 2015, 4:48 PM

Xenia:

You are quite the ticket!

Congratulations on your move and hope your custom built lazy-girl chair arrives soon.  I have mind-movies of you propelling yourself out of that chair like a human catapult smack dab into the midst of a group of indifferent seniors and rattling their spirits back into life!!  What a force you remain after so much grief and family responsibilities.

Nat, Nouce and everyone else who has written of late, I wish you all the best in the challenges and opportunities life currently brings to your door. Oldbat, if you have a moment, I would like to know how you are doing. I have no wish to intrude. I just wonder how you are.

Take care the lot of you. I am off to join the circus.

Jim



 
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Reply by Xenia
16 Sep 2015, 3:40 PM

Good Morning All:

Spent yesterday in Vancouver attending to my brother;s affairs.  Life is strange, when you are alive few people note you, when you die every government agency is interested in their cut of you.  Am I being cynical, you bet.  However, being optomistic I think and hope that there are better times coming and that brother Stephen is now at rest and his family can appreciate all the care and love provided by my daughter and son in law gave to their father, my baby brother 68 years of age.  Strange,dealing with him in life was easier than dealing with his affairs in his death.  We now are entering another phase in our lives and trust we will have better times.

I have settled in my new digs, apparently I am missed...by some of the residents when I don't show up for breakfast, even the "we are too old to be political" lady, as I didn;t stop for breakfast yesterday morning heading into Vancouver early before the rush.  At dinner they asked where I was.  Good to know I have been missed and still am accepted even though I do try to impress on them the need to be aware of health and medical issues even as we age.

Fall has set upon us, rain is appearing more freqently so that means more reading, more time spent writing letters to our beloved politicians. My letters this past month have fallen on deaf ears, however, I do hear the 3 muskateers stating they are willing to do more for seniors.  Let's wait and see and not hold our breath.

Jimmie, My LadyGirl chair has not been delivered yet.  I await the delivery with baited breath as I can sit back and doze there and come up; with more ideas and ways to deliver my thoughts to anyone who will listen...lol.  With the vetting for candidates it appears I would not be able to run for any of the parties as my past life would catch up with me and I would probably be burned at a stake because of my views.  lol.

Oldbat, how are you?  Like Jimmie, I miss you and your messages.  Nat, keep on posting and Nounce, how are things going.

My exercise classes start in a half hour so I must prepare for 1 hour of Sit and Be Fit, ah the joys of living in my new residence.  Not a worry anymore.  Lunch is served, tea in the afternoon and dinner between 4 and 6 pm.  Bingo at 6:30, my days are full.

Take care and keep in touch.

Xenia



 
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Reply by KathCull_admin
20 Sep 2015, 2:22 AM

Hello everyone,
So glad you are settling in Xenia - although I would think that it is a process that takes time. 

I wanted to let you know that Oldbat posted to  The Long Haul and I know that not all of you are on that thread.


Take care dear friends.


Katherine
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Reply by Jimmie
23 Sep 2015, 11:09 AM

Good Morning:

A brigt, clear, and cool morning here.  I have been wondering for a while about "Frustrated".  I wonder if she still reads these posts, and I wonder how she is doing since the death of her partner.  If you are still connected to this site, Frustrated, I am thinking about you and wondering how you are.

I have also been thinking about you, Nouce.  You indicated in one of your last posts that there were some significant challenges and opportunities on your horizon.  I wonder  how you are as well.

I hope this day brings comfort, and rest to each and every one of you. To every thing there is a season...

with affection

Jim

Jim    
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Reply by frustrated
23 Sep 2015, 2:52 PM

Hi JImmie,


 


Thank you for caring. I do read all the posts. My mind has been very muddled. I feel like I am adrift on the sea and don't know where to land. I have been a caregiver all my life and have always been responsible for someone. For the first time I only have myself.


When you have been defined by others all your life and now that is all gone where do you go? Who am I ? So I have been working with a counselor to redefine and find myself. We give so much over the years that we lose who we are as individuals.


So that dear Jimmie is where I am. Some good days, some bad days. Never know when the "moments" will hit me. Restless, confused, tired and drifting.


I have been doing some traveling and I am fulfilling a livetime dream or building a cabin in the woods. It is my refuge and a dream come true. The family is planning on spending CHristmas there as the thought of doing Christmas as we always have is to much for all of us.


I do have childrena nd grandchildren, but hte all have lives of there own. So I am living one day at a time. Am going to start back doing volunteer work.


Thanks for you thoughts


Virginia

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Reply by Jimmie
23 Sep 2015, 4:52 PM

Lovely to hear from you, Virginia (Frustrated).  I have missed hearing your voice and wondered how you were doing.  The sense of beng adrift and for the moment lacking a compass or a map is famiiar to me.  The map lines of the early explorers would eventually end and upon the open, unknown spaces they would write phrases such as "Here be dragons".  It is a marking I appreciate when illness or grief thrusts me into the unkown.  Here be dragons indeed - some real, some imagined - all frightening and disorienting.  It's like being lost in a heavy fog.  Old maps are no longer of much use. 

Perhaps I have already mentioned the following, but if so it bears repeating: An American novelists (I forget his name at the moment) writing about how to write advised that you should approach that task like a driver driving through the dark into the the unknown.  You can only see into the future as far as your headlights reach. You have to trust that you will eventually get to where you need to go by advancing one sort distance after another.  Seems to me lke good writing advice, as well as good advice in terms of dealing with trauma, grief, dying - you move into the future, the darkness, slowly - only as far as the lights from your "car", at the moment, today, allow. Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow you do the same.  Seems to me at the moment your lights, Virginia, are guiding you through the woods to the site of yur cabin.  That is far enough for now, far enough.  Trying to move too quickly, or too far, or too fast  will probably only leave you lost.  Build your cabin.  Make it snug and nviting and safe for all who enter there.

Thank you for taking the time to write, Virginia. I hope your work goes well.  Sounds like a fine refuge for you, your family, and your friends - an inn by the side of a road.

If I may, I wonder too about you, Nat.  You mentoned you were heading into a "new adventure" with some trepidation.  I wonder how you are???

Jim 
     
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Reply by Xenia
26 Sep 2015, 5:14 PM

Good Morning Frustarated and Jimmie and All:

Great messages from both of you.  Jimmie your quotes are great and keep me grounded especially at times like to-day as I am missing John very much.  Getting ready to leave for Windsor, Ont on the lst and as I pack his memory keeps popping up with each item I pack, thinking I would be packing John's shirts, etc. as he loved to visit his sister, only remaining member of his family.  

As you stated, I am moving into the future and it is all so different from what I shared with John in the 59 years we spent together.  I look around my unit and look at the changes that have changed in the 9 months since John passed away.  So many new adventures and changes have happened in those months.  I adjust each day to a new ventrue, exercise classes, bingo at night, library on the floor where I live, filled with many books to which I have availed myself, games room to put puzzles together, play bridge or whatever game is going on.  Huge TV to watch the sports, my days can be filled with many activities but I go slowly as I need to take time to venture into new territories knowing I am alone.  

Last night was especially hard.  It was pub night...yes we oldies do do pubs.  The singer was great and it was one man with his guitar and all the modern equipment that made it a small country band.  Music was good and when one of the guests got up and jived to his music my eyes teard up as this was the music and dance John loved.  He loved to jive and of course waltz.  Have to accept these changes even though it can be difficult.

My condo is sold, inspection tomorrow then closure of another phase of my life.  I should be used to it, however, when we moved or sold a house, I was with John.  Strange how life changes, I lived in SAskatchewan, Ontario, B.C. and in many towns, Regina, Melville, Windsor, Lac La Hache, Vancouver, Chilliwack and made a home in each of these towns.  I travelled across Canada with John as he did love to drive and take secondary highways so we could see Canada as it is not from the main highways where you zoom through towns and not get to see the people who live there.  I will get used to travelling alone and am intending to do so next summer.  I have relatives across Canada and have invitations to visit.

Thanks you all on CVH for all the friends I have made and shared good and bad times with.  All with understanding which keeps me grounded knowing others have or are going through many of the problems and changes I have and am experiencing.

Hugs to all.

With affection from afar.

Xenia 
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Reply by KathCull_admin
14 Oct 2015, 8:06 PM

Hello everyone,

It's mid afternoon and I am looking out of an 8th floor window - blue sky, fluffy clouds - do you remember as a child (or maybe as an adult) figuring our what the shapes looked like? I have been doing that a lot the last few months. The leaves are almost all on the ground - or in a recyling bag - but there is still some color - orange, green and brown on the trees. I wish I could enjoy this time of year more - but I keep thinking about winter!

AdoptedSon I have missed your presence lately and chocoate references - I think perhaps you talking about chocolate kept me from eating it because I have been consuming quite a bit recently. I hope all is well with you.

For everyone - I think of you often with affection.

Katherine
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Reply by Xenia
17 Oct 2015, 4:28 PM

Good Morning All:

To my dear friends how I miss you all, my fault for not being on line for the past few weeks.  The move, the trip to Windsor and getting back home took a few rounds out of my system.  Slowly getting back to normal, or whatever that means.

My sincere condolences to you Katherine on the loss of your husband.  As I said in another message my heart and all the members on CVH share your loss and offer you our support.

My trip to Windsor was great.  Family reunion with John's sister and her family, my nieces and hephews was great.  June's husband John was very supportive to myself and my daughters.  We placed some of John's ashes with his parents as he started his life in Windsor and we felt it was time for him to rejoin his family at this time as we did not know how long before the ties of family will go on once all of us pass on.  We know the nieces and nephews loved their Uncle John very much but life does go on and with Canada such a laege country to travel across the country is limited due to cost and the travel time, however, the cousins have kept in touch and we trust this will continue.

I had a hard time getting ready and packing to go to Windsor as John was always a part of our trips to the East.  Windsor, Toronto, Brampton and Niagra Falls were places we travelled to either by car, Winnebago(when we had one to travel with the kids) and plane.  How John looked forward to seeing his family and his remaining member, his sister June.  :His family looked forward to seeing him and the times were happy and full of joy and now I remember them as a time of sharing John with his family and keeping contact even though we were miles apart.

My trip was great except now I may be called the Drug Totating granny.  In Vancouver, my daughters had a wheel chair for me from West Jet.  Went to security and the agent  used the wand to check me and lo and behold, I was pulled to the front of the line while all the other travellers stood and watched as they took a swab from the wheelchair and my body, wow, it turned pink, back they came and did a body search, yes while I sat in the wheel chair...had to bend over, no they just went so far and my whole body, feet, back , etc. etc and the chair again.  "Do you have any exposives..yeah sure" No what kind of medication do you have, etc.  Is this your wheel chair...No, it belongs to West Jet.  Had to sign a form and off we went.  The drugs or whatever they found was on the wheel chair.  

Then we sat in the waiting room before we could go on the plane.  Heard my daughter, the youngest...the clown, laughing with one of the passengers who was in line watching me being frisked.  She asked her what happened, of course my daughter couldn't miss a chance and stated " Mom was overweight and they were checking her before she got on the plane"  The passenger was aghast and asked do they realy do this, No Gayle replied...and told her the real reason.  Everyone had a laugh.

Then on my way back to Vancouver, my knees ---knee replacement set off the alarm bells and lo and behold I had to be be body checked again.  I offered them my cards stating what I had medically done to my body, not good enough.  So I had a second body check.  Sure doesn't make me feel good but we all laughed as my son in law stated if something can go wrong,, leave it to granny.

Came home and took a rest for 3 days to recover from too much of everything, food, travel, tears and good times.  Now I am getting back into living in my new apartment and my condo sold in 6 weeks.  Closing is at the end of the month and I went back to take a last look at where John and I shared the last years of his life.  Took a last look at the Koi pond, the trees he watched change from season to season, the birds diving for the fish in the pond and the rain and snow that would show the change of weather and his favourite corner in the condo to watch the daily changes, watch the hockey games from his lazy boy in this corner, watch the news and the odd time movies.  He left many memories for me and I had to shut the door on the condo and trust the new residents will find as much happiness in their new home as John and I did living there for many years.

Looks like a I just wrote a chapter in my life's book so will sign off wishing all my friends, Jimmie, Adopted son, Katherine,Old Bat, on and on, frustrated and so many more the best of everything and sending you hugs and all that will help you through the many trials we all have gone through or are going through.

With affection to all.

Xenia
 
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