We got some not so good news today. My husband has been struggling with low hemoglobin & low platelets. He's had several blood transfusions. The Oncologist says its caused from the chemo. They were using two drugs for his chemo but one was cut out to see if his blood would right itself. But it didn't & today the Oncologist said that he could only have two more treatments &  she'd have to cut the amount of the drug by 50% because of the low platelets & that it wouldn't benefit him any &  she's afraid that he could have a fall & maybe have a brain bleed from the low blood. So my husband had to make the decision himself to not have anymore chemo  but it kind of knocked the wind out of his sails. As long as he was getting some kind of treatment he had some hope but all thats left now is trying to manage his pain. And the Dr. is having a hard time doing that. Every time she ups his meds he's good for a day or two then the pain is back just as bad if not worse. He's good thru the day but at night it gets bad & he doesn't get much sleep. He also had an Ultra Sound two days ago & its showing that there might be cancer on his liver. They will keep their eye on it but it'll take a catscan to be sure.

But he still wants to go to a music festival about an hours drive from here. We have a sm. motor home so our daughters partner is going to drive it to the campground on the weekend & we'll go down later in the week.  If he finds that he can't get comfortable in the bed in the camper we'll drive back home each evening then go back down in the morning. His brother & his wife & my sister & her husband are coming too to camp beside us so this will do him good to get out of the house & maybe enjoy some of the music & enjoy being around our families.

I feel like we've moved into a new chapter of this disease & its going to be very difficult. I'm afraid to look too far ahead into the future. I've been talking to my Aunt who went thru this with my Uncle. So she understands where I'm coming from but now she also has lung cancer. This is such a horrible disease.

I just hope that my husband will have a lot more time with us but nobody can tell us how long. I'm being selfish in not wanting him to leave but thats the way I feel. I'll do my best to take him where ever he wants to go & do what he wants to do until he can't get out anymore.

Thats my thoughts for tonight. Thanks for having me on here.

Take care

Dorms

Hi Katherine

I have good news & bad. The music festival was great. My husband was so happy we went & he was able to spend a lot of time with his brother as well. He enjoyed everything. The night before we were to come home(Saturday) he had a bad night, alot of pain & it took about half of the next day to start feeling better. We came home Sunday afternoon, He had supper then a shower & went to bed. Thru the night he started to have a lot of pain in his abdomen so we tried heat packs two or three times which worked for awhile but at 6AM (July 6)I called for an ambulance to take him to the hospital. He was in so much pain he couldn't move. They still to this day don't know what was causing this pain but after he was admitted he seemed OK but they were trying to adjust his meds over 5 days, he was still eating well & was counting on coming home, on the 13th they put him on the pumps then he  went downhill so fast he passed away on July 14 at 11:10 PM. It was such a shock. We were not expecting this to happen yet. So now I'm trying to get thru each day but I miss my husband so much. This is going to be a long hard process.

His death was caused from asbestos & it makes me so mad to see that manufacturers are still using this stuff. How many people have to die before they smarten up?

Thank you for your shoulder to cry on

Dorothy

Thank You heatherh2408 for your kind words. It is a struggle getting thru each day, you never know how hard it is until one is put in this situation. I'm having a very hard time accepting that he is gone & that he went so quickly. I am glad that he didnt' have to suffer long but neither of us was expecting it so soon. We thought he'd be home from hospital after a few days. Now the days seem endless & the house is so empty.            

Thanks again

Dorothy