Dear Ziplock

Please accept my deepest sympathy with the loss of your lovely wife.   It is very important to reach out to people for support when grief is so raw.  We  need the support of other people to get through the day to day adjustment of losing one’s loved one.  I have found by just typing out your thoughts to other people such as this as helped guide me through some “down” days.

Yes, it does get easier to accept some days.  Then you will find that it all comes back with a vengeance.  All these reactions are very normal.  I thought that maybe after a year of losing my husband of 42 years would be easier to accept.  Some days yes, then a trigger comes along, be it a song or remembering how we would start spring!  That was my trigger this week!  Not having him with me to clean up the yard, burn the brush.  Always thought he would light the forest on fire!  LOL   These are memories that you will go through and they keep you going.  Your wife would not want you to “get stuck” I call it.

And yes, I have gotten stuck.  You are overcome with grief and can’t seem to function normally.  Walking in circles not accomplishing anything.  We have to adjust to the new normal and I am still working on it over a year.  To be honest, nothing is quite the same and we can’t expect it to be.  Accepting changes in our lives is very difficult and even more so when grieving. 

Unlike you, I am retired and some days I wish I had a job to go to.  This would fill in the time somewhat and give me a new routine.  I do volunteer each week but sometimes that’s not even enough to keep me busy. 

Keep reaching out and you will find that it will guide you through this difficult time.

Regards

Jane