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Reply by Shelley Hermer
01 Apr 2013, 7:31 PM

Hello everyone,

Just wanted to say that I have read, re-read, and will read again your comments. Everything I strive to learn comes from others' willingness to share; it is so appreciated. I am certain I will see things more (and less, as it seems to go at times) clearly as I get invited alongside people's journeys.

Thank you.  

-Shelley

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Reply by eKIM
02 Apr 2013, 2:45 PM

Hi Shelly

Welcome to Virtual Hospice.  Have you posted your story here, Shelly?  I looked, but cannot find it.  If you have posted it, perhaps could you copy and paste it into this specific link.  We are here to listen.

It’s funny how a simple word or phrase can resonate within us.  It’s as though it rings with the same frequency as our heart, our spirit, even our soul.  You state: “as I get invited alongside people's journeys.”

We are solitary figures on life’s journey.  No matter how many people we know, no matter how many people care about us, their path is different than ours.  The beauty, of course, is that our paths cross, intersect, even join with others for a spell.

At times we struggle along with our little candle and we despair in the darkness.  Just when we feel we can stumble in our sightlessness no more, we see a light.  The light is no brighter than our own wee candle, but it reassures us, nonetheless.  For lo and behold, when two wee candles are placed side by side, our vision doubles.  It’s not so scary anymore.  

Hold your candle high, sweet girl, and notice how many of us do the same.

-eKim

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02 Apr 2013, 2:53 PM

eKim, Shelley is the author of the blog that started this conversation (see the blue highlighted section in the first post of this thread). 

Shelley allowed me to re-post her blog to the Virtual Hospice community in this thread. After it generated so much interesting conversation, I invited her to take part in the discussion. I thought people might like to "talk" with Shelley. 

Welcome Shelley!

Colleen
 
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Reply by eKIM
02 Apr 2013, 3:51 PM

I found it, Colleen.  When I first scanned the postings, I saw "moderator" and I didn't look closely.  Sorry.  but I do have an "iron-clad" excuse.  It's the "being male, and not following directions" factor.  Oh well.  That's what happens when you lead with your heart instead of your head.  - eKim
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Reply by eKIM
02 Apr 2013, 4:06 PM

Hi Colleen,

On Mar 25, Dale had posted:  Hello All,
I am going to start another discussion thread called Bearing Witness / Holding Space. 
I am also going to ask that comments not be long essays - this helps flow the dialogue and the insights.

Dale 

Is it possible to transfer the postings on this thread to Dale's new thread?  It seems that it could be a continuing thread of an educational nature for caregivers.  Being in only one place will make it easier to follow.  
- eKim
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Reply by eKIM
02 Apr 2013, 4:34 PM

Hi again, Shelley.  I feel so foolish, not finding your original posting.  Doubly foolish because I have been studying what you wrote as well as what Dale wrote.  More so, I have been trying to put into practice what I am learning from the two of you.  Please continue to contribute.
 
Yesterday at my hospice volunteer shift, I sat with a woman who told me in poignant detail, the story of her life growing up in the Middle East.  Her need to tell her story was great.  Her story was riveting.  I was able to practice “bearing witness”.
 
Later I sat with a gentleman who is very sad in his dying process.  We spoke but few words.  As I held his hand, he clung to me with a desperation bourn of the winter of the soul. 
 
I sat, holding his hand, wordlessly looking into his eyes, through to the very centre of his being.  We connected with a purity of purpose that is indescribable.
 
He fell asleep, I abided awhile, then took my leave.  I “held space” with him.  I was in the “moment” with him.  I was fully “present” with him.  I am a better person and I am blessed by our time together.
 
I have done this previously with people, during my three year tenure at hospice, but I really was “winging” it.  I believe that at a minimum it is a ten year apprenticeship.  Dale’s expressions, “bearing witness” and “holding space”, have been candles to light my path.  Shelley, your word too have enlightened me.  Thank you so much for helping me.
 
“When the student is ready, the teacher(s) will come.”  - your humble student – eKim
 
Ps For clarity and ease of access, Shelly, can we continue this ongoing discussion on Dale’s new thread, “Bearing Witness and Holding Space.”?  I have reposted the above in that location.
 
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