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Reply by KathCull_admin

21 May 2014, 4:31 AM

Hello everyone,
I know this thread has been quiet for a little while - I was reading through the posts and wondering how you are all doing? The freezing cold weather made this winter seem even longer to me - how is spring where you live?

A new member Sadlou posted to So very sad today. Her husband died 11 weeks ago and this is a tough time for her. Would you consider responding to her post.

Thank you for thinking about it.

Katherine

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Reply by Shell21

23 Nov 2014, 5:50 AM

I just lost my husband too. He was only 44 and had a very rare form of cancer. We found a tumor in his spinal cord in May and was told it was cancer in August. He died October 17. We have two young girls, 7 and 9. I feel so lost! He was so sick that when he left our home in May he did not come home. We spent 5 months driving back and forth to the hospital. We spent many days sitting by his bedside watching him slowly die. I am so tired. The girls are good for everyone else, school, friends and their daycare, but when they are with me they scream, fight, cry or cling to me. I understand why, but that does not make it any easier. I am trying to heal myself and help them too. Today I woke up sad and crying. They are the only reason I got out of bed. Everyone tells me how strong I am, but I don't feel strong.
Shelley

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Reply by KathCull_admin

23 Nov 2014, 6:45 AM

Hello Shelley,

Welcome to our community. You will have met some of the caring, supportive members as you read through this thread.

In less than a year your life has been turned upside down. I can only imagine how tired you are and how difficult it must be for the children. A short video by Andrea Warnick called How kids grieve, might be of interest to you.

Shelley, what resources do you have to help as you grieve and parent your children? What have you found has helped as you ‘try to heal’ yourself?

Katherine

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Reply by Shell21

23 Nov 2014, 4:15 PM

Hi Katherine,

Yes, my life has been turned upside down in a very short time. My husband was never sick, did not smoke, drink or even eat meat, so this came a a really big shock! Thanks for the video link, I will watch in later today. I have found a support group but was only able to go twice because it is at the end of their session. I am looking for a councillor that is close to me that I could go see. my mom has been living with me for the past 6 months for support. She is great, but sometimes I feel overwhelmed with everything. She is suggesting that I give his clothing away, but I do not feel that I am ready to let it go yet. She will be going home after Christmas then it is just the three of us. I do have a lot of friends to help me and I have relied on them through all this. Even with this, I still feel alone, especially at night when everyone is sleeping.
Shelley

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Reply by NatR

23 Nov 2014, 4:28 PM

Welcome Shelley,

i am am so sorry to read of your recent loss - and your daughters loss. You are all so young to have to deal with such a huge loss.

everyone expects loss and grief to happen at the end of a full and productive life - sadly it can happen at any time. My heart goes out to the three of you. you really need some tangible support not only for yourself but also for your little girls.

i am not certain what supports are in your area but I am hopeful that you will be able to find someone in your community to assist you as a family.

this forum is a great place to start as others will have ideas and will also listen to you and understand what you are going through

reaching out to the forum was a good step. You now have a connection to people who will support you. Each of us has a different story but we are all here because we care and because we have felt a loss, a personal grief. We are all survivors of a similar storY
you are among friends :)

sending my thoughts your way
NatR

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Reply by KathCull_admin

11 Sep 2015, 9:21 PM

Hello everyone,
It has been some time since this thread has been active, but I am hoping that those of you who continue to receive notifications might consider responding to a thread Where to go next...started by a new member CleaningFrenzy.

Her husband died 4 months ago after a very short illness and I think she would benefit from your experiences, warmth and understanding.

Thanks for thinking about it.
Katherine

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Reply by KathCull_admin

22 Feb 2016, 7:49 PM

Hello
In my last post, I didn't take the time to let you know I was wondering how you were doing. Page 96, Phoebe and Carolync it's been just over 2 years since your husbands died, Shell21 just over a year and a little longer for you Marstin.

I had a note from a friend whose husband died 18 years ago. She has happily remarried but misses her first husband - something that I hear from others as well.

Thinking about you all today as I type your names, about the losses you have shared on the forum and hoping..... Hoping you are all okay.

Katherine

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