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Reply by radicalrick
18 Apr 2015, 8:01 PM

hi cathcall,thanks for a reply,regarding my name..my nickname,when i was 18 my freinds started refering to me as...radicalrick with his casual calmness..i was super fun to be around but was always able to be casually calm in any situation,this aplyes to this day,just like when i was diagnoised i was casually calm about the whole situation,and no not in denial.

i do believe there is more to life than birth and death,i truley believe we live in a cycle,we live multiple live in which time we learn and hopfully improve i dont belive in god persay but i do think there is a possible creater or mother of somekind,i mean think about it we could be liveing in some kind of simulation,mabey we are a part of virtual reality game...i mean who knows,but i am not affraid of death because i do believe there is more to this crazy universe...i was thinking last night and i thought to myself...this cancer is stupid its killing its host,so i internally tod it i would be okay if it stuck around as long as it didnt grow anymore,call a stalemate and we can both live happily ever after.

i sure wish more people would get involved with posting,sharing thoughts and information i think this would benifit all of us ,im dissapointed that there are not more shared...so people share away......radical rick with his casual calmness...F**K CANCER

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Reply by Xenia
19 Apr 2015, 11:59 PM

Dear Bizzy and All:

Thank you for this forum.  I opened my computer and found a message from CVH and it was most appropriate to find discussion on afterlife.

My husband had a near death experience 25 odd years ago.  He had gone into hospital for a new procedure for heart problems.  It is called an Angio Plasty - ballon inserted into the artery..and he had a very serious heart attack.

When he was in intensive care I went to see him and he kept saying "I don't want to come back."  On the second day in the intensive care we spoke and he said:  I saw this bright light, shinining golden and as I walked further it became the nicest blue I have ever seen.  I wanted to keep walking forward when someone or somebody or something stopped me telling me...it is not your time"  

From that time on he was never afraid of dying and would say that he would see the same events again.

I especially liked the message about the ice cube.  How appropriate and I do believe in after life whether it is another life or person but life does go on.

Thank you so very much all of you for helping me through a very difficult time in my life.  My husband, John, die January 10, 2015 and even as we were told he would not know us and such .  The day before he died, he lay very still then sat up and held onto the side of the bed, kissed the two daughters , gave a high five handshake to our son in law, and I asked him if he knew who I was and he said, "Yes, you are moochie, my sweetheart, my wife and he had the biggest smile on his face we remember as very special.  He went to sleep and passed away the next morning.  Sadly I was not with him at that time, however, our daughters were as I was so tired I was going to go later on.

All in all I know John is in a good place and as I do miss him very much I feel his prescence in so many ways.

Thank you for your insight.


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Reply by JennJilks
20 Apr 2015, 1:22 PM

I have found reading a fair number of books on spirituality and near death experiences have truly helped. I just did a book review on a book that wasn't well constructed, but it has some interesting ideas.

Book Review: Bridge to Beyond 

Another helpful one, another...
Mebane, Donna; Tomorrow Comes
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Reply by eKIM
20 Apr 2015, 3:51 PM

Hello radicalrick

It’s eKim here.  I have posted to this thread previously (see above). I would like to share a couple of things with you that I have come across since I last posted to this “comment thread”.

First, a bit about me:  I was raised in the Christian faith.  I have not abandoned my roots but I have not been a “churchgoer” for about 20 years now. I consider myself a very spiritual person.  I truly believe that my hospice work is my response to a “calling” to serve.  I feel closer to God at hospice that I ever did in church. I have been a “resident support volunteer at our local hospice for 5 years.  I help out with “spiritual care” at our hospice. 

When I am sitting with a resident (patient) or family member, my view is this: At this very moment, whatever “spirituality or religion” means to that person, that is how I relate to them.  I am not there to proselytize.  I am there to listen and to comfort.

I am good at relating to agnostics and secularists.  EVERY single one of my immediate family falls into that category.  I respect their opinions and they respect mine. The following are a couple of things that I recently have come across during my own spiritual journey.  I hope that they are helpful.

I have just finished reading a book that has made a significant contribution to my spiritual journey.  Proof of Heaven (A Neurosurgeon's Near-Death Experience and Journey into the Afterlife)  - by Eben Alexander M.D.

Excerpt from Google books:  A #1 New York Times Bestseller -- Thousands have had near- death experiences, but scientists argue that they are impossible. Then neurosurgeon Eben Alexander's brain was attacked by a rare illness. His recovery is a medical miracle-- but not the real miracle. While his body lay in coma, Alexander journeyed beyond the physical world with an angelic being who guided him to the Divine source of the universe. Reading his story will change your life.

I have found this description of a Near Death Experience to be the only one that was free from the observer's indoctrinated assumptions. Written by a secular-minded neurosurgeon, it is very compelling and believable. 

Below is a sweet poem that I came across recently.  I find that it is comforting to both people of faith and agnostics who hope that there is more beyond our earthly existence.

What is this thing that we call dying?

I am standing on the seashore
A ship sails to the morning breeze and starts for the ocean.
The ship is an object and I stand watching it
Till at last it fades from the horizon,
And someone at my side says, ‘The ship is gone!’ Gone where?
Gone from sight, that is all;
It is just as large in the masts, hull and spars as it was when I saw it,
And just as able to bear its load of living freight to its destination.
The diminished size and total loss of sight is in me, not in the ship;
And just at the moment when someone at my side says, ‘The ship is gone’,
There are others who are watching it coming,
And other voices take up a glad shout,
‘Here it comes’
And that is dying.”

- Modified from an original work “The Sailing Ship” by Bishop Charles Henry Brent

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Reply by Princess peace
27 Apr 2015, 3:01 AM

Hi there,
I lost my sister two months ago and have been "craving" to know about the afterlife or know if shes ok, and want signs from her.  I grew up going to Sunday School and with a faith in God and as I have gotten older I have become more spiritual than "religious" (which means I am familiar with both religion and spirituality). 
  I am conducting my own "research" on the afterlife and have had sessions with four different mediums/channelers/clairvoyants if that is the specific term used.  I am going to continue this search to see what I discover for myself.  If anyone wants to know what I have learned when I am done my search please let me know. 
Monica (Princess Peace)
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Reply by eKIM
28 Apr 2015, 3:29 PM

Hi Monica

I would be interested in your research into the paranormal.  I am a fence-sitting open-minded skeptic when it comes to this stuff.  I love to learn, so let me know what you find.  - Ekim

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Reply by Carlyn
23 Jul 2015, 5:44 PM

RadicalRick, i'm new here but not new to life with illness, caregiving, death of loved ones.  I want to share in case it's of help to you, and also to connect with everyone else on this thread. I have no idea if this will help but doing my best here to try.

Note: i've got some cognitive impairment going on and at times it impairs my communication. If I'm confusing etc. please advise as I can't tell when it happens. And don't hesitate to question me if I appear to not be clear. Thanks :-)

Currently, I live with a diagnosed rare disorder which is fairly disabling. It's classified same as cancer but it's not cancer yet, if that makes sense. I don't want to name it because I like my anonymity here and i'm known in my illness field ;-)  In advanced forms of my illness, it will progress to rare types of cancer involving blood or bone. So that's what I live with now. 

What I've lived with in the past was an elder sibling who lived with type 1 diabetes. She died in 2000. I was her "person" she could confide in about her illness, fears, worries, etc. that she didn't want to put on our parents. My parents died in 2007, months apart, separate causes, both rare cancers, both sudden development. I cared for our Mom at home and she died in my presence, and my father needed more care than I could handle so he went into long term care and died there unfortunately. He wasn't there long before he passed.  In 2009, all my pets died. :-/ This sounds tragic but honestly I'm laughing just having to type that because it sounds ... so sad yet funny. I mean, what else can happen at this point is my feeling. 

I share all this because i'm new Smile and nobody except Colleen knows who I am I realize, but also because I need this forum as a resource for myself now. Caregiving for ourselves is hard i'm finding out, especially when illness or disease is causing difficulty with self care.  Finally, this afterlife question is something I have sort of studied for a long time - an interest I shared with my sister who died. And I've had an experience or two, three, four etc. throughout my life. I don't tend to share these things as I don't want to offend anyone. I have no explanation for some occurrences but I just want to say, I do believe there is an afterlife and I think i've had confirmation of that multiple times in my life. The latest were following those close family deaths. I'm now 50 years old if that matters. I'm not mentally ill as far as I know and I have asked my doctor several times just to be sure.

RadicalRick, I hope this helps ease your mind or helps discussion continue. I'm looking forward to reading the linked resources provided by everyone on this thread. I own that book by the neuro doctor who had an NDE - I appreciate the science stuff coming out about this. It helps a lot I think.  Finally, there is a new tv show - fictional of course - but i'm finding it enjoyable. It's called Proof, starring Jennifer Beal and Matthew Modine and some other actors I enjoy. It's about using science to prove life after death. I'm liking it. It may be of interest?

I'm glad I finally joined this forum today. It's a wonderful resource and I would like to see it grow in members. The more support we all have, the better I think. I know I need a fair bit of support just now and that's new for me so i'm grateful for this place. Thanks everyone.  

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Reply by eKIM
27 Jul 2015, 4:00 PM

Hi Carlyn
It’s eKim writing to you.  I have posted in this thread before, although I am only a sporadic contributor to Virtual Hospice.

I feel that I am a compassionate person – I have volunteered at our hospice for 5 years, however I have not had any severe adversity or great loss that others have who share on Virtual Hospice.  As a result I feel as though the “sharing” is best left to others who are on a similar path and thereby can offer true empathy and not simply compassion.

Nonetheless, I have learned to respond to my intuition and when the V.H. email arrived with your posting, I felt compelled to respond.

Carlyn, you wrote: “I'm glad I finally joined this forum today. It's a wonderful resource and I would like to see it grow in members. The more support we all have, the better I think. I know I need a fair bit of support just now and that's new for me so I'm grateful for this place. Thanks everyone.

I am a huge believer in what I call, “Serendipitous Compassion From Strangers Amongst Us”.  I have benefited greatly from this phenomena many times in my life and as a result I attempt to “Pay It Backwards”, if you will.  Lol

At hospice our total focus is to provide as much psychosocial and/or spiritual care that is wanted by the residents and families.   I am drawn to comfort those amongst us who do not feel as though they have enough comfort from other people in their life.  So, if my words comfort you, then my duty is done. 

Carlyn, you stated: “I need this forum as a resource for myself now. Caregiving for ourselves is hard i'm finding out, especially when illness or disease is causing difficulty with self care.

Carlyn, who is available to you in your immediate circle of supporting friends and/or family?  Are they fully able to “be there” for you, to help you both in practical and psychosocial matters? You seem to need more than what is availed to you.  Virtual Hospice is a great place to anonymously share with compassionate people”.

Please, tell us here at Virtual Hospice a bit more about yourself and your story and how we may reach out to you in a compassionate and helpful way.

I wish you the best Carlyn.  Here’s my hope that all your troubles will magically go away.  I love hope, don’t you?

- eKim

Ps  I have a short personal story to share with you – but I won’t in this posting.  Firstly it would make the posting too long and secondly it concerns my 3 year old grandson’s concept of the afterlife.  I’m not sure if people what to hear a story from a rambling old grandpa.  Lol  If anyone out there wishes to hear this story, let me know.

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Reply by Carlyn
27 Jul 2015, 5:00 PM

Hello eKim :-)

Just last evening I was reading a thread about favourite expressings or quotes. I loved what you were posting in that thread.

Thank you so much for replying to my post here. 

If you're okay with it, I would LOVE to hear your 3 year old grandson's concept of the afterllife. Kids say the best fun things! :-) Often I find them incredibly insightful. Children are light to me, or maybe they represent hope...might be better word to express how I view them. I love hearing funny and/or interesting things they say.

Ok to answer your questions....who is available to me? A younger brother (lives 2 hours away) and a close friend here in my city. Beyond that I have dear friends who live far away, some from childhood, some from connections to my rare disorder. I don't tend to lean on people or ask for help. And everyone I love is very much like me - very independent. My sibling has been diagnosed with a genetic illness and he's got a lot of his own to manage. He's doing great but I can't lean on him the way he wants me to and it just isn't sufficient you know? He wants me to but he also doesn't like the leaning when I really need to lean. And in fairness to him, it's been too much leaning in the past couple of years I think. I need to be myself. I'm older than him plus i'm female, he is male. It's different.

Anyway, I took on too much for my rare disorder and others dealing with it, my health took a great hit, and that seems to have pushed my symptoms and health deterioration to a new lesser level.  

If I could drop my body off for repair and pick it up after they fixed it without me having to be involved i'd be a lot happier :-) 

I think primarily I need other people to connect with who understand, who are safe emotionally and psychologically, who don't mind if i'm independent and it's ok for me to be myself while needing support. That's a tall order probably. Does it sound unreasonable? I honestly can't tell and would like feedback - what do you all think? Is an independent loved one who is ill the worst to deal with? And how is it for you? Maybe that would help. Because some of these people I love drive me nuts, they mean well but there truly is an art to caregiving and not everyone can do it - they may want to, but they're just not cut out for it. That's okay. I just need to find those who can do it and who are ok letting me be me while weighing in when I need backup decision help or emotional support.

I was trying to think of the brain and decision issues espeically, if I need to hire someone. Who does one go to when you don't have a primary caregiver? To help make decisions I mean, when your brain isn't working? I honestly don't know and need direction on that.

This is a lot. I'm very sorry it's so much. It may be too much. Please tell me. I'm trying to figure this all out and too confused to be able to know what I should be doing and in what direction etc. to get help or support.  
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Reply by eKIM
28 Jul 2015, 2:26 PM

Here is the little story that I alluded to:  -eKim

Something that happened to me recently that has re-confirmed my belief in an afterlife.I my immediate family of 10, I am the only one who is not an agnostic.  I grew up (and remain) a Christian.  Although I have not attended church in about 20 years, I am very spiritual.

I was walking in the forest with my wee, 3 year old grandson.  He is quite a “deep thinker” for his age.  We often comment on him being an “old soul” of sorts.

We lost our family dog recently – everyone was devastated.  Half way along our walk, my grandson, out of the blue said, “You know, Grandpa, Rex, was very old and sick.  He’s not with us anymore.  He’s in the forest now with all the other old dogs.  And you know what?  Just because we can’t see him, he is still with us.  Every time we think of Rex, he is with us.”  I was “floored”.  I didn’t respond other than to say, “That’s nice sweetie.”

I later asked my daughter if she ever spoke to him about the “afterlife”, she said, “No.  We haven’t even mentioned God to him.”  Ps nor have I or anyone else.  My daughter said, it sound to me like he “invented” “Doggie Heaven” and then she laughed.

I should mention that he has an imaginary friend called “Me Me” who accompanies him everywhere.  My grandson talks about him many times a day, every day.  My other three older grandsons have never done this.

I have heard it said that some children are able to sense their “Guardian Angel” and respond accordingly: this being an explanation for imaginary friends.  As always I remain an “open-minded sceptic” on the matter as I do with all the rest of the paranormal stuff that many people (but never me) have experienced and commented on.

Any thoughts on this?


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