I see it's been quite a while since I've been up here. Unfortunately, not much has really changed. Guess I could have come up and said 'ditto'. :-) Have family-managed care now for my mother. That's new. She now has home care from 9-5, 5 days/week. Yay! However, it's been hit n miss. Difficult to find workers when you have 4 dogs to take care of as well. On vacation now, for 3 weeks. Had to work at home this past week as I didn't have a worker. One injured herself. Another is on vacation. Different people coming. Hate that!! Have another gal coming on Monday. Guess we'll see how that goes.

My mother's legs have once again begun blistering and splitting open. Lots of weeping that isn't healing like it used to. Now have a home care nurse coming in daily to monitor and reapply the bandages. A few weeks ago, a substitute nurse was over. She yanked and dropped my mother's leg which irritated the hip to such a degree she can no longer walk the short distances she was able to previously. The pain level has also increased. In fact, I would say doubled if not tripled. So, thank goodness I will have some daily worker coming in to help me out.

The mind has gone even further now. Still stealing everything, then returning it and stealing it again but this time it is also with things she's had in her hand 3 mins before.

Yes, I've thought about a nursing home. But here's my question. If they can't provide me with medication to reduce your pain to any degree then what are they going to do for her in the home? 6 of this and half dozen of that!!

Well, that's my update for this period. Wish I had more to relay. Maybe next time.

Happy summer everyone!

Hello Barbara,

So good to hear from you. It sounds to me that there has been some improvement in your situation. At least you should be getting a little more rest now. The mental games will probably never change. I liked the information that NatR gave you on Personal Care Homes. I do not know if you are thinking of one in Winnipeg or elsewhere. In spite of the positive aspects that NatR talkes about, I have observed another critical element missing through my experience with PCH. As good as the staff can be, they are still human and the attitude of the patient is still a huge factor. Fortunately my father was number 1 with staff, only because he was a kind, gentle, patient caring person. Yet the man next door thought the place was a hell hole. His own worst enemy. Nevertheless, it will be a hard decision for you and you can only do what you feel is best for both you and your Mother. I hope that your dogs panting in this 30 degree weather does't keep you awake. All the best,

Brayden

Hi Everyone! Well, my mother went into Emergency yesterday afternoon. And admitted that evening. The stay was to end Thursday after some testing and a bit of respite for me. As of this morning, my mother is staying indefnitely.

So, here I am basically mindless. My mother looked worse this afternoon than she did last night. Definitely concerned and feeling extremely guilty. Luckily this is my last week of vacation. Now what do I do??

Hi Barbara,
What a tough time - you are getting some respite in that your mother is being looked after in hospital, but you can't get respite from the worry you have for her - especially as you see her looking worse.  

Guilt is such a heavy weight. It is often not based on any truth, but it sure can pretend. What do you think is at the root of your guilt?

What do you do now? It seems like this might be a chance for you to spend time with your mother as her daughter. The staff can provide her with much of the physical care and supervising that you have been doing. While you are there you can also give them some insight into what she needs and wants to make her comfortable. You know her best. This might be a good time for you to rest up before you go back to work too.

I can understand being concerned. As you say they are doing tests, and this is a long weekend so hard to know what the next week holds. Would it be helpful for you to talk to someone about how you are feeling and how things have been for you?

Katherine

Dear KCBJ,

It is still fearful when the time comes that you do not have your Mother at home with you, even though you anticapated this for a long time. You can still feel guilty but when reality sets in, you will see that you have gone above and beyound what should be expected of you. Kath makes a great point in that now you can respond as a daughter and you no longer need to be that constant caregiver. I hope that you can get some enjoyment out of this last week of your holidays and catch up on some much needed rest. Even re-connect with the dogs. The weather is finally in your favour.

Brayden

Hi KCBJ
Have you had a chance to talk with your mother's healthcare providers about what you see is happening with her? I know for myself, I find it at least a little easier to deal with things when I know what is happening and perhaps why. 

Do you find it's hard to visit her but hard not to visit too?  I was going through some of the articles on the Virtual Hospice website and wondered if you had seen this one Caring for Yourself. These may be things you are already aware of - but maybe there is something that can bring some help to your day. 

It sounds like you are very aware of What pets can do  to help relieve stress and distress!

Katherine