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Reply by caringgf

28 Apr 2014, 7:41 PM

Good morning - it is sunny here. Still cool but warming up bit by bit. Very nice to see the sun and the promise of new beginnings.

I actually listen to this one from Youtube on my phone: http://youtu.be/8TDcGYmEgyM and there is quite a few others on Youtube as well - I just had to find the one with the right voice for me. My girlfriend recommended looking on youtube and just searching for guided meditation. She truly believes it works for her. I can tell you I don't think I've ever heard the end of the recording!

My honorary mother in law seems to be holding her own at the moment - still sleeping a lot and taking a lot of pain pills. Her eyesight is not improving at all - I'm afraid that her eyes will never fully heal from the recent surgeries she had. :( She does say she is tired of it all. :( We did get her outside for 20 minutes or so on Easter Sunday! I was so happy to see her sitting in the sun, enjoying the breeze.

My boyfriend and I did have a talk about her a week or so ago, he has reaassured me that everything is taken care of and that her worries are for nothing. I think he is beginning to realize the end is near as he tells me he is not sleeping well at night.

For me, my stress relief comes from just being with my boyrfriend. His positive attitude and encouragement in my life helps me to remain positive for the struggles in my life - and I try to do the same for him. I do keep a lot of my personal struggles to myself or only vent to my girlfriends right now as I don't want him to feel overwhelmed with negativity.

I'm working on learning to let go of the things that my soon to be ex does to irritate me. I know that he will never change his attitude towards me, as he is back to treating me exactly how he did before I left him - (he spent a few months trying to "win" me back) but have discovered that he is a changed man for his girlfriend. I only hope that this positive change in his life helps him find his happiness and that it all rubs on our children as well!

I hope everyone else has spring coming their way - I do believe the extra hours of daylight and sunshine help everyone to feel better, regardless of their situation.

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Reply by marstin

01 May 2014, 5:16 PM

Hi caringgf,

What a difference that a little bit of sunshine can make. When you were talking about getting your boyfriends mom out into the sunshine, it reminded me of when my mom was dying and how badly she had wanted to get out of the hospital. Since that wasn't an option at that point, we did manage to wheel her outside into the fresh air and the sun for a short time. That memory will stay with me forever. It was a happy time.

Watching our loved ones slip away from us is a very difficult thing. During the day you stay busy and can keep from thinking about things that are changing. When the darkness falls and you are alone with your thoughts, that's the toughest time. As exhausted as a person is, sleep seems to be elusive as our minds whirl around and for many of us I think we try beg for some kind of mercy. I think it all becomes worse as we see how quickly the end is coming.

How difficult to stay positive when there are so many changes happening around you. I know that when my partner was dying and my mom was becoming ill, I found an acceptance within me and calmly dealt with everything that came at me. It is very difficult to find that balance in your mind. My partner was always the one who was able to face life with a positive attitude, not me. After losing both my partner and my mom my calm stayed with me until my insensitive sibling and his wife shattered my strength. Insensitive people like your ex have a need to break you down. What I found worked for me to get that calm back was having very little contact with the ones creating the pain. I spent more time appreciating the little things in life like flowers blooming, a smile from a stranger, the laughter of a child. Most of all, I learned to accept myself and believe that I am a good person, not deserving of the pain I felt from other people's judgement. This brings a freedom that is unimaginable until it happens. I hope that you can find a way to move past the drama and just live in the moment as you support your boyfriend, his sister and his mom.

Hugs,
Tracie

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Reply by KathCull_admin

28 May 2014, 4:17 AM

Hi caringgf
Just wondering how you have been over the last few weeks.

The sun has been shining more here - but we are also getting a fair bit of rain. Oh well the grass grows and flowers bloom.
Take care caringgf.
Katherine

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Reply by KathCull_admin

17 Jun 2014, 5:31 PM

Hi
I was wondering how you were doing - lots on your plate I know with children, bf, bf's mother, ex + I am sure oh so much more.

Not sure if you had seen the thread started by eKIM, Coping With Stress - One Person's Viewpoint. I particularly like the points about exercise, music and reading - but found many of the other ways of coping fit for me too - often without my knowing it.

Take care caringgf.
Katherine

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