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Reply by JennJilks
14 May 2015, 1:01 PM

We are off next month to have biopsy #3 done.
In the meantime, there are things I do in remembrance.


I planted some flowers.
I chucked in a large package of Forget-me-nots into the rock garden, in memory of my late mother. She adored them. Always called them Forget-me-don'ts! 
 
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16 May 2015, 2:07 PM

Hi Jenn,

What a lovely picture. I have forget-me-nots all over my front garden this year. I had forgotten that I planted them. But as their name says, they let me not forget. Laughing

It's a little chilly for planting today, but tomorrow will be nice. I look forward to spending as much time in the garden as possible.
Colleen 
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Reply by JennJilks
27 May 2015, 1:52 PM

This week we have an MRI, in 10 days a biopsy. Hubby is having panic attacks.
He has 'happy pills' and finally is happy to take them.
It really relieves the stress for both of us.
He has a dental appointment today, with a really bad gag reflex he has issues. I think he worries more about these things than the cancer that is slowly growing in his body.
He's really tired these days, falling asleep in his chair outside.
Walks help.
 
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Reply by JennJilks
30 May 2015, 5:50 PM

Into Ottawa Hospital for MRI #2


 

Lots of people write about their journey through a cancer diagnosis. This man died this month. He, like we do, used humour as good medicine. He, too, loathed the battle terminology. It isn't a fight, when it is your own body producing cancer cells. It is a journey and we have learned a lot about ourselves. We have met much sicker and more frail people along the way. We are grateful for what we have now. All staff have been amazing at three different hospitals.

Hubby had some stress and took a 'happy pill' as we call it. Lorazepam or something. He doesn't understand as he is calm on the outisde. The mind does strange things. He's messed up the coffee three days in a row, and it spilled.

1:45 p.m. Thursday, May 28 – Left the house, took back route, past The Swan, through North Gower. Easy drive, although some traffic. Another of those dreaded Ghost Bikes! This was from Laurie Stano. We've passed a few on our way into healthcare appointments. This being MRI #2, and trip #XXXV.

2:30 –  arrived at the MRI office - between modules M and O, another form to fill in. Yes, each visit a new form.
Then we sat and waited.
Another couple: The man came out, wearing his lovely hospital gown. His wife giggled!
"C'est beau." I tell him, they were francophone. We often laugh about such at these visit.










Selfie!

"On y va." Al says.
 "Sexy." said Al. His wife mentioned his droopy drawers. A tall, thin man, his boxers were hanging off his frame.
Hubby read. I fooled around with the iPad photo apps.
I took our usual selfie. The francophone woman laughed. Hubby said not to worry about me, I'm harmless!
Another couple arrived.

 4:10 –  JB was taken into the other room. Lovely outfit. Another man's name is called. "Already?" he asked.
     "Well, you can sit and wait some more," said Al. He is droll!
Off hubby went, into the mysterious other room, with the noisy machines.
I asked Al where the nearest washroom was. Right in front of me! Sigh, again. How could I not have seen it?!
I knew I was in the city. I couldn't find the tap handles. It was automatic. Good hygiene, you don't have to touch it!
I liked the directions on the door handle for locking and unlocking it!

5:14  – still waiting...  Did some cross stitch. Thumbs hurt.
5:17  –  I can hear the machines. Stopping, starting. Weird noises. Floors were mopped as the evening staff comes in.
5:30  – out he came! He was to sit for 5 minutes, with the tape on his injection site, to ensure he wasn't dizzy or bleeding. He thinks he had a nap. That's good. It's a noisy machine.
Some rush-hour traffic, you can see the photo from Hunt Club. Sigh. Why did I take Hunt Club?
I choose to use River Rd., as the homes are amazing mansions, beside the river with glimpses of same.
6:30  – Dinner at The Swan, the marina looked ready for summer. Not bad food, lovely server, Courtney. I hadn't been there in ages. Too chilly for outdoors, with a cool breeze, but another time!
8:39  – Home just before sunset. Lots of farmers out spraying fields. I wonder what we are eating. They worry about Neonicotinoid pesticides in Ontario, hurting bees and other pollinators.
Once safely home, I ran down to the pond to find the ducklings had jumped from the nest and were gone! Bittersweet, we'd hatched 12 Wood ducks, no infertile eggs in the nest, which I cleaned in case there is another brood going in. I think it's late, though. Duck box #2 has another brood, set to hatch mid-June.
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Reply by JennJilks
03 Jun 2015, 10:56 PM

Well, there we go. Bad news. Popping into his GPs office, while I babysat the grandkids, he talked to the dr. about his MRI. The biopsy is scheduled for Monday, then back to the Uroligist/ surgeon for results.
The MRI had made it to the GPs office. Not good. Definitely enlarged lymph nodes, as well as more swelling, which they attributed to his radiation, except he hasn't had radiation, yet.

GP is asking for clarification from the MRI peeps.
I am just tired. 
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Reply by KathCull_admin
04 Jun 2015, 1:17 AM

Dear JJ
I am sorry - I wish it were not so. Sometimes rest is the best medicine - the only medicine.
Katherine 
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Reply by NatR
04 Jun 2015, 1:23 AM

Ah Jenn,

you write such lovely  posts that allow readers to visualize the places and people you meet
you give smiles with your pictures and you give details that we all understand.

i am sorry to read that your hubby is going through all of this - appointments, stress, waiting and you are going through with him - holding him up, encouraging, comforting and steady like a rock - plus you drive in the city in rush hour. 
What a gal!

i wish your final post could have been more positive - but as you say - you have to take what you are told and move through the next appointment- the next trip- and wait and see

i wanted you to know I am thinking of you both
 I know others reading this will be feeling the same - wanting to support in thought and notes 

You are a wonderful caregiver and "helpmeet" I think that's the word used in the Bible 
hugs from me to you 
natr 👍💕
 
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Reply by Wingman
06 Jun 2015, 1:59 AM

Hi Jenn,

I have few words of wisdom but words to encourage. Stay the course and take comfort in following your strong instincts.
My best friend has her first follow up xray next week-I understand the waiting....the anxious thoughts...the process of understanding info. 
Your insightfulness is a gift and with that you can take your husbands hand as you journey.
I for one, will learn from you.
WM 
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Reply by JennJilks
08 Jun 2015, 3:50 PM


Here we go again. I had to give hubs an enema, in preparation for his biopsy this afternoon.
This caregiving isn't for chumps, is it?! You are right, helpmeet is a good word.
Thanks, all, for your moral support!
We went out to lunch after having the grandkids for a week! 



Two MRIs, two bone scans, three CT Scans,  PSA tests every 3 months since 2013, 3-month check-ins with the urologist, one colonoscopy (negative), two cystoscopies (make your bladder gladder!). It's all a management and a waiting game.
 
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Reply by KathCull_admin
13 Jun 2015, 1:52 PM

Kudos to you and your husband as you manage and wait JJ. I would imagine you might have been a bit tired after having the grandchildren for a week - but I imagine too the payout for you both in terms of being able to have them was far greater. 

Love your pictures.
Katherine 
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