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Reply by Charlie1
22 Mar 2015, 8:29 PM

Xenia, im sorry for your loss. and im sure it was a tough battle. how are you? thank you for your wonderful advice! i did go and talk to her homecare nurse, she is so awesome. and assured me that this is the process and we are not close to hospice yet.  we are watching for changes. virtual hug to you!!!!
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Reply by KathCull_admin
06 Apr 2015, 6:27 PM

Hi Charlie1,

I am glad to hear you have a good connection with the homecare nurse. It can be so helpful to have someone walk beside you in these unchartered waters.

How was the long weekend for you all? You must be very busy with work, meal preparation and making sure your mom is okay.

Thought you might be interested in this thread started by Colleen I never thought I'd be thankful for 

Take care
Katherine
 
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Reply by Charlie1
06 Apr 2015, 11:19 PM

this site has been my go to... i dont have alot of family support and my relationship is falling apart, he thinks that my moms cancer has nothing to do with me, doesnt understand why im upset and feel like im on the verge of a nervous breaksown and cry sometimes at the question how  are you, and it is never him asking.  my mom is getting weaker every day, more pain means more morphine, she is sleeping alot and barely eats. i know this is to be expected but it breaks my heart, its hard being the caregiver and daughter, im losing my best friend slowly everyday. She is still living in her own apartment and i do go everyday to make her something to eat... she loves A&w lol so if that is what she wants than that is what we have, i have given up on trying to make things that i think are better for her, does it really matter?  im sorry im venting, one thing i know for sure is that this experience or whatever you call it is changing me. And making me angry and this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach is awful. 
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Reply by Xenia
07 Apr 2015, 3:15 AM

Dear Charlie:

I am sorry to hear about your relationship falling apart and your caring for your mother is not being understood.

It is hard to have someone understand what you are going through unless they have been in the same situation as you.  I do not think I really understood what it meant to be a caregiver to someone you love until I had to care for my husband, John.  As most people we did not understand what it meant to be the support through thick and thin.  Seeing our loved one change from the person we knew to a person in pain depending on mediation to get them through the pain.

As the daughter you are seeing all the changes in your mother.  Her sleeping due to the increased morphone is what I saw in John.  At times I thought why am I giving him this morphone then speaking to the palliative care nurses I realized that this way the best way to help him cope with his pain.  The doctor told me that the morphone was there to ease the pain and make him comfortable and that is what palliative care is.

Providing your mother with A&W is not a bad thing.  My doctor told me to give John what he wanted and not to worry.  John was a diabetic and I was so careful with his diet.  At the stage he was in it really didn;t matter other than giving him too much salt which would have made him sicker due to his lack of kidney funciton.

I am happy that you turn to CVH and that you are able to share your cares and tears with friends on these message boards as most of us have been or are going through what you are now facing.  We have cried the tears, shared our doubts, shared our fears and had the best understanding that we could not get from family or friends.

Please keep in touch and know we are here for you and that we keep you in our hearts through this difficult time and will be there whenever you need to share your cares.

Hugs to you

Xenia 
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Reply by Charlie1
07 Apr 2015, 3:21 AM

Thank you so much, it means the world to me to know that I'm not alone! ANd that other people are or have gone through this. 
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Reply by KathCull_admin
18 Oct 2015, 1:01 AM

Hello everyone,
Charlie1  I know that it has been some time since you last posted and I ask a little hesitantly - not wanting to be insensitive - how have things been for you and your mother over the last few months? 

A new member, Karen Rose started the thread Suffering Together this evening. Would you consider responding to her if you are able?

Thanks very much for considering it.
Take care
Katherine 
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Reply by Carlyn
02 Dec 2015, 12:25 AM

Katherine, thanks for your latest on this. 

Charlie1, we're thinking of you.

Carlyn 
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