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Started by laudi
27 May 2016, 7:56 PM

my baby brother(48) was diagnosed with

Cholangiocarcinoma With Mets to Liver. He lost a tremendous amount of weight in january and feb, wasnt feeling well and they found masss on his liver and his lymphe nods ..i came to help out as my parents are elderly....and while i was looking after my brother my dad became sick and passed away march28/16. On May 2nd we were told surgery was not an option and niether was chemo.... My poor mother just having lost her husband is now going to lose her baby boy... so we re now in pallitive care...having to have discussions i never thought id havve to have...having to watch my moms heart break...

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Reply by KathCull_admin
27 May 2016, 10:20 PM

Welcome to our community laudi. 

What a difficult time for you and your family - difficult probably doesn't even begin to describe how you are all feeling. There has not even been time to grieve your father.

Another member Sissy started the thread scared and lonely after her sister was diagnosed.  My twin brother, heather2408, Carlyn and NatR has also posted to that thread. I thought you might find it helpful.  

The article, Rituals to Comfort Families might be helpful as you care for your brother and mother. It must be so hard to see your mother so sad and know that nothing will fix that pain. However, I do believe that your presence will give comfort -

I’d encourage you too, although I know it might be hard, to care for yourself too laudi. Maybe a walk outside, or resting in a peaceful corner.

You wrote you came out to help your brother - do you live in the same community as your brother and mother or is that making everything more difficult as well - being away from other family? 

This is a good place to come as well… sometimes knowing you are not alone can make a difference.

Take care


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Reply by EastCoastPEI
27 May 2016, 11:47 PM

HI Laudi,amazing how everyone's situation is quite different but at the root of it quite similar.  This illness takes its toll on not only your brother but you and your family as well...pushes and pulls the family and friends to the limits...almost testing us.... I've been there... and just know that this is a great place to let it out... a safe place... we can all either listen or offer advice if you want it. 

Yes help take of your brother but don't forget to take care of yourself as well..it's important.  

It's a delicate balancing act but you can do it.. 
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Reply by Carlyn
13 Jun 2016, 4:33 PM

Dear Laudi, i'm late to this but wanted you to know we're here for you. I'm very sorry for all you and your family are going through. You're right, it's a lot and hard to process why all of this at one time.

It's good you and your Mother have each other. It is a lot on you, being the support for both of them. Everyone is right, self care is important ... a walk is excellent. Even if only a few minutes per day to yourself here and there - grab it, quiet your mind, let yourself cry, whatever lets you release some tension.

My condolences to you and your family on the death of your Dad. I'm keeping you all in my thoughts.

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