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Reply by Cherel33
10 Jun 2017, 10:27 AM

Hi Marymary,

How are you? You were so frustrated and angry in your last email, I feel for you. You were running the debate stay or go. Do you leave to preserve your own sanity or stay in compassion for others? That’s up to you. I stayed living with his anger, berated for things that were not my fault. Hoping for the epiphany of his acceptance of the disease. I wanted to shake him and say heh, I’m here, talk to me. I chose not to confront him, to allow him to rail against the injustice of it all. I refused to engage in his theatrics. Yes, he hurt me in so many ways, but by not rebutting, I have no guilt. It just wasn’t possible to have a reasonable conversation with someone who is so ill.

There were many, many days, I walked out the back door angry and crying, telling myself he’s sick and I’m not. I will get through this and I will be a stronger person for it.

Six months after, and I am stronger, but I truly wish never to go through this again.

I feel for you in so many ways.

Cherel


 

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