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Terminal cancer 
Started by Lulu975
10 Jul 2016, 10:43 PM

I am new here and am looking forward to talking with people who are dealing with the same difficult things I am.  I was diagnosed with the return of cancer 15 months ago after a 7 year period.  I have uprooted myself to move to be closer to family when my condtion worstens.  Right now I am disease stable and doing OK physically but I also have Fibromyalgia and that just adds to the chemo burden. I am depressed and dealing with lots of grief of late for all the things I have had to give up because of the cancer. Does the emotional roller-coaster get better as time goes on?
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Reply by Carlyn
10 Jul 2016, 11:29 PM

Hi Lulu975,

It's nice to connect with you. I'm glad you joined as there are a lot of very experienced people here. 

The disease AND uprooting your life is A LOT so it makes sense that you're experiencing depression and grief. I know in my own situation all of it = lots of limitations. But after you address those, do you have any hobbies or interests you can do despite the disease and treatments? Even for short bursts of time initially. 

That's what helps me hang on during emotional roller coaster times. I wondered what your interests are...maybe we can kick it around a bit if that interests you?

Carlyn 
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Reply by KathCull_admin
10 Jul 2016, 11:48 PM

Dear Lulu975 

I am glad you found us.  You have already met Carlyn - one of the wonderful members of the community.  Not sure if you have seen the thread started by linda* serious illness.  Others have told said that just feeling free to say how they feel/what they think can help with the ups and downs - knowing there is no judgement - just listening, empathetic ears.

It is good to be near to family - have you found friends and other supports as you are going through chemo? Are the healthcare professionals you think might help with the roller coaster?

Katherine 
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Reply by linda*
11 Jul 2016, 6:28 PM

hello lulu.


nice to meet you.


 I have advanced cancer and my treatment is considered palliative so we maybe some things in common, the difference maybe being that you had the cancer to deal with 7 years ago so that must have been discouraging to learn it was back.  and the fibromyalgia surely adds another dimension to your experience. another difference might be that I haven't uprooted myself.  my family is still mostly on the other side of the mountains . . . 


I have found that the side affects of some medications are insideous and they can really throw a person off track sometimes, what with lack of energy, no appetite, depression & brain fog to name a few.  I quit taking some meds that I was pretty sure were making my head feel hollow. the doctor I see prescribed an alternative that was an improvement.


but all that aside,  there's a natural rhythm of ebb & flow in life that inluences the intensity of the roller-coaster ride.   my experience is yes, the roller coaster track gradually starts to even out.       

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Reply by Lulu975
11 Jul 2016, 9:05 PM

Thank you all, it's good to find a safe place where I can say thing that others might not understand.  I am right now dealing with a lot of grief, for the home and security I left, I was caregiver to  my mom for 15 years and in April I had to have her admitted to a nursing home as her conditon worstened. I am now living alone after 15 years and find it difficult as well.  I have a loaded plate of emotions to deal with and some days just not doing well with it. At least hearing that others have come to a place where the roller coaster evens out gives me hope.  
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Reply by linda*
12 Jul 2016, 12:21 AM

I can honestly say there have been days where almost all I did was weep.  I think I was grieving the life I wanted to have.   but . . .


tears can be cleansing and wash away sadness,  sometimes after a good cry a person can have a good sleep.  so I quit fighting the tears and just let them flow and it's been a while now since I needed to cry.


being uprooted is such a big change.  I think it takes a person maybe three months to adjust to big changes.  it takes time to settle.  and it sounds like you're right in the middle of the hard part.  after the hard part, you get a chance for a break. 


 


 


 

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Reply by linda*
15 Jul 2016, 3:03 PM

 so it's friday now.  thursday was a long day, I kept thinking it was friday already.


now that it is friday, I'm struggling a bit with what I thought happened on friday actually happened on thursday when I only thought it was friday but . . .


and a bla bla bla


hi to you 


lulu


my apologies for the bit above.  sonetimes I just like to play with words.


I was thinking about you.


when you made your big move, did you have to down-size?  that's a hard job if a person is  emotionally attached to things but, can be quite satisfying if a person can rid one's self of items that are nothing much more than a burden. lighten the load. 

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Reply by Lulu975
17 Jul 2016, 12:15 AM

Well I sort of had to downsize from owing and living in a house with a garden to an apartment.  It is a struggle for me to go to comunal living after having the space and quiet of a house. I left the city I grew up in and have lived in for 50+ years and I am finding it scary to try and find my way around a city where I have  no idea where things are.  I left a lot of stuff behind but still find when I am opening boxes I wonder why I packed that!
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Reply by KathCull_admin
22 Jul 2016, 2:26 PM

Hi Lulu975 and Linda
A new member Jessicasarah started the thread stage IV breast cancer  yesterday. I am wondering if you would consider responding to her questions?

Thanks for thinking about it.
Katherine 
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Reply by Carlyn
24 Jul 2016, 10:09 PM

Lulu975, recently I made the same kind of move. Though my house wasn't in my life for 50 years and I have lived in apt/condo situation earlier in life. That's a big move you made. How are you finding things now, getting around the city you moved to?  Do you know anyone in the city you moved to? 



 
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