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Reply by Tian

30 Jun 2012, 4:54 PM

Nice is always nice. Take it when you can.

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Reply by Carriek

30 Jun 2012, 4:58 PM

(gonna do this in pieces)
Now my husband has been home just over a week (two weeks this visit in hospital)
Im thankful for each moment and each day that I get with him....if thats all we have I want it to be the best moments/days..
He is my world, he is my best friend.... Im sure that many never experience what we have shared.. so I try and remind myself daily to be thankful for that.
My heart does break for him....he is too young, too good, too kind, too caring for this to possibly be happening to... Im torn, scared, mad, sad, devastated..the list goes on.
I remain his only caregiver, respite is going to come 3 afternoons a week, for a break so that will give me a little time to do things...
we continue to pray, cry, laugh and share time together
Carriek

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Reply by Carriek

03 Jul 2012, 1:23 AM

Not sure if anyone is on this discussion page anymore....

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Reply by NatR

03 Jul 2012, 1:35 AM

Hi carriek
Yes we are around but I was hoping in my heart that Caron would reply first because your note was directed to her as someone who understands your journey better.

I feel inadequate to reply to your situation but my heart goes out to you. You are not alone.

How have things been for you and your husband this weekend? I cannot imagine the stress and also the importance of this time you have with him.

You are in my thoughts tonight, you are part of this group and your notes are important

I do hope Caron responds soon, but if I or the others canhelp in any way, please ask.
No one should have to walk this path alone.
Sincerely,
NatR

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Reply by Cath1

03 Jul 2012, 1:38 AM

Hi Carriek:

We're here if you want us to be otherwise, you can continue your conversation in the thread Pooka started. I see that you wrote to Pooka over the long weekend. Hopefully she will write back to you soon as I imagine you will be a great support for one another.

Do you have any update about how things are going with your in-laws? Are you feeling the same way or have things changed - improved or worsened?

Thinking of you tonight Carrie and hoping you are surrounded by love and support.

With affection -hugs- xo
Cath1

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Reply by Tian

03 Jul 2012, 3:58 AM

Carriek, you can be certain that we here await whatever you have to say. Some of us understand your situation better than others but we all wish we could ease your burden.

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Reply by Caron

03 Jul 2012, 4:18 AM

Hi Carrie ... I have been away a lot since my husband passed. Today is exactly 4weeks since he passed ... So it hasn't been an easy day... I am feeling so very much lost and unsure oF myself! And missing him like crazy. So sorry I haven't been here for you ... But I have been thinking of you and your husband and wondering how you two are doing.

I hope that you are able to enjoy each and every day, knowing that the Lord is with you both to give you the peace and courage for this time of testing. I pray that you will have many more days with your husband.

Just know that I am here for you, I will be online more now that I will be home more. Although the grief is still and will be for a long while very much apart of me life ... I am trying to pull myself together. I know I will be ok, with the Lord's help ... And one day there again will be joy in my life.

Take care ... My prayers are with you both
Caron

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Reply by Brayden

04 Jul 2012, 12:45 AM

Dear Caron,
You are truly a breath of fresh air. Your confidence in the promise that your Lord will bring you a new joy in His time is encouraging. That will surely help you as you hit those different anniversary dates this year and all the other down days.
God Bless,
Brayden

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Reply by Carriek

04 Jul 2012, 2:41 AM

Hi Guys, so glad you are all still here. I do really need you "all" now, more than ever.
My husband is home, we have a hospital bed on our main floor. I mainly sleep on the couch or in the chair beside his bed. He has meds every 4 hours...and he panics and is very restless trying to get out of bed constantly- so very little sleep has become my daily routine.
Caron, Im sorry 4 weeks is a very long time to be without your husband. I am sad for you and know you must be still feeling very emotional and exhausted from the long journey.
My husband is suffering from weakness, confusion, panic, delerium the list goes on... our daughters try to be bubbly and silly when around their Daddy, as that was always their way. Its so sad to watch their last times with him.
The inlaw situation is resolved---- we actually had some harsh words- as I think we all needed to release the emotional turmoil of emotions. They are actually taking turns staying with me, as my husband requires constand every minute care- as he is continuously restless and trying to get up. We are very afraid he will fall out of bed. He is very heavily medicated now... each day for the past 5 days meds have been increased. this is so so sad, and scary and I am so glad that I have all of you to lean on... as I need you more and more each day.....

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Reply by Caron

04 Jul 2012, 5:17 AM

Hi Carrie,

So very sorry hear of how things are going with you and your husband ... It is so hard to watch a loved one go through the pain that cancer gives. It's heart breaking and how I wish that you didn't have to go through this. In my husband's last days, we bounded even closer as we knew our time together was short ... And I felt honored to be able to be there for him and help him through his journey. My prayers are with you, may you feel the very presence of Christ comforting you both and giving strength for each hour.

Please keep in touch and know that I am here for you and praying for you.
Caron

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