Hi worried daughter,
I just want to reach out and give you a big hug. It's so hard to know what to say to you. Who advised you that you can't force the issue? This seems to be so wrong. I know when Len was slowly fading that his normally kind and loving ways began to spiral downward. He would swear at us and become very abrupt at times. I had to console both of our daughters at times, even the one he was closest to, because he had hurt them so badly. I don't know whether if is the disease or the medication or the mixture of both that creates this, all I know is that it hurts like hell. Many times I had to step in and tell him to stop and although it didn't make me feel very good to do that, it did make him back off for awhile.
I wish that I could advise you on how to deal with all of this pain. My only suggestion would be that the next time you are unable to reach her by phone, call the local police department and ask them to check on her. This way they can see first hand what is going on and possibly force the issue of her being taken care of.
As Brayden said, please take care of yourself. The stress on you is immense and you matter too. I can imagine the nervousness of making that drive as I'm nervous driving on the highway or any long distance myself. Your husband sounds like an incredibly supportive man to talk you through that drive. You need to find an outlet for your stress like a long walk, a run, or even buying a punching bag to vent on. For myself I went out and worked in the garden (I have never been a gardening type) and still do these days when I need an escape from the real world.
Know that we are with you any time you need to talk and that we are walking along with you to try to give you as much support as we can.
Hugs,
Tracie