Hi Mich2,
I think that each of us deals with loss in our own way and there is no right or wrong. What I have found on this journey is that there are some people that are best avoided, at least for awhile, as they unknowingly only cause more pain. It's not that they necessarily mean to but it's just their own coping skills and it sometimes clashes with ours. It has taken me a year to realize this but I have learned who can or cannot be around me for the sake of my own sanity. That goes for friends and family members. You have had such a short time to deal with the loss of your mom and your emotions are raw. I hope that you are being good to yourself and able to get some proper rest.
We are forced to learn so many lessons in our lifetime and this can be so difficult. For your dad trying to carry on without the love of his life is painful thing. He has lost his best friend, the person he shared everything with and trusted with all of his heart. I have found that losing my sweetheart has been a very frightening thing. Night time is the worst because you are all alone with your thoughts and memories when during the day you can fill all of those empty moments with something. It will take some time but he will move forward one step at a time. I understand your need to have him figure this out because you don't want him to become totally dependant on you.
For you, losing your mom is a different dynamic than what your dad is going through. You have lost the one person that you ran to when life hurt you, who was there for all of the ups and downs as you grew, one of your closest friends. I have just reached the one year mark of my mom's passing and I still miss her so badly. I guess I can say that it does get a little easier to manage but that a memory or a scent can send me into a tailspin. I have come to accept that this is okay and I don't think I would ever want to forget those precious memories that bring comfort and sorrow at the same time. In time your pain will lessen a bit but allow the release of tears to bring you comfort whenever you need to. This is all part of the healing process.
Hugs,
Tracie