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My husband has Stage II Prostate Cancer 
Started by JennJilks
05 Nov 2013, 4:45 PM

As a caregiver for my parents and having written much about caregiving. THis is a whole new stage for me.
I've found that journalling helps me. Many of my friends do the same and many of us learn from their journeys.
What I learned today: removing the protective cap from the enema bottle aids in delivering said substance.

1. Preparing for your appointment with a specialist

2. How to self-advocate –Safe and Sound in the Hospital!

3. The process of cancer treatment; PART I

4. The process of cancer treatment; Part II –cancer assessment at the hospital5. The process of cancer treatment; Part IV – Bone Scan

Questions to ask your physician

Hospitalization for seniors–what you need to know if you are in hospital

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Reply by moderator | modératrice
06 Nov 2013, 4:20 AM

Hi Jenn,

I'm sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis. Your experience in caregiving is wide ranging. But as you know, it is different when it is a family member and a partner. You have supported so many people on our Virtual Hospice community (and will continue to do so I suspect). Thank you for letting us know what is going on with you. We are here whenever you need us.

How is your husband handling the diagnosis?

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Reply by NatR
06 Nov 2013, 4:32 AM

Dear Jenn,

i have had you on my mind.  I am glad you already have much experience at caregiving and coping with all the details.

glad to hear that journaling is helpful.  
Let us know how things are going, when you have time.

the links you posted will be helpful to many.  It's good to get an idea about the pricoeds and how to travel the jounrney.

best wishes and thoughts to you and your husband,
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Reply by JennJilks
06 Nov 2013, 1:58 PM

He is handling it well, Colleen. We live in the present moment. We've discussed it with family and friends. He knows I will be there by his side, no matter what, and that helps.

We have POAs already written, witnessed and signed.
We've had end-of-life discussions.
We have wills.
I know what he wants and does not want, should something go horribly wrong with the operation.
We know the various treatment options, depending upon the 4 recent tests: Bone scan, MRI, CT Scan. If it has spread, surgery may not be done as it will not be invasive enough.
We enjoy each day.
We simply hope for whatver is possible and do not have incredibly high expectations. 
We read all the literature we have been given. 
I prepare for one test at a time. #3 takes place this week, then the consult with the surgeon.

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Reply by JennJilks
06 Nov 2013, 2:00 PM

Thank you, Nat, I knew I could count on you!
We made it through the MRI yesterday
Left the house at 1:00, back in Perth by 6:00 p.m. - makes for a long day.
This process isn't for chumps! 
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Reply by NatR
06 Nov 2013, 2:44 PM

That was a long day Jenn, for you both.

glad we have connected, glad to know you are so capable and steadfast.  Your husband must be relieved to know he has a wonderful partner and advocate in you.

just to know you are there for him is a huge help!  It's so scary when you have to give up to the care of others, procedures that are hard on the nerves, you are his Rock,

you are right, making each day count is what we all should do.  Having a condition to diagnosis makes you enjoy every moment, and you want to verbally share thoughts, thank yous, feelings that maybe you wouldn't bother to say, thinking you have many tomorrow's.

i am learning that, even just as an aging senior, to be grateful, to say thank you, to be the best I can be whether it's a day quietly spent at home, ( but able to reach out to others or participate in conversations online) or whether I am out and busy, I enjoy, take notice of the wind on my face, the suns warmth, the sound of rain, the smell of snow coming in the cold evenings;)

so many of us drift through life, without those details, and that's okay too.  Not trying to preach just sayin what is in my heart.

i don't have a serious health issue to face at this moment, but one day it can happen.  Yes I deal with aging, creaking joints, etc etc.  I do my best to keep active and enjoy my mobility.  I saw so many in long term care lose that, it's hard.

anyway, time to go out in the rain, and spend an hour  at the library.
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Reply by JennJilks
06 Nov 2013, 4:39 PM

Isn't it true, Nat?
I have a few clients who have refused to accept the aging process. These are the women who have serious falls.
We're spending tons of money trying to prevent falls, for example, but all it takes is choosing what you can and cannot do.  
I was out chopping down a tree and paid for it with aches for three dys as I hadn't lifted the axe in months.  
Whilst sitting the 2 hours i the waiting room I made sure I got up, moved around, did stationary stretches. (In between laughing at the politicians on TV!) Which was a bonding moment for all of us in the waiting room. 
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Reply by moderator | modératrice
12 Jan 2014, 10:00 PM

Hi Jenn,

How is your husband doing? How are you doing?
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Reply by JennJilks
13 Jan 2014, 12:11 AM

We're doing well, Colleen. Thank you for asking. Hubby has few symptoms, which is excellent, but that will change!

Finally, we have a date for surgery, at the end of this month.
We go for a 3-hour pre-op PPT at the hospital this month.
I've had client with catheters , but this is the first time I'm caregiver.
I'm hanging in.

I worry about my children, since their father is undergoing chemotherapy for colon cancer and has had surgery already. His 2nd wife has dementia.
It's a lot to worry about. We are just taking it day by day. My biggest worry is the 1:45 hour drive into the city and leaving the cats for 3 nights. 
Details, just details. 
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Reply by NatR
13 Jan 2014, 12:26 AM

Oh my Jenn!

you have a lot going on too in your life.  Certainly sending you and your husband my best.  Am sorry to hear about your children's dad and his wife - sending you all strength as you share support and travel the journey of family and caregiver - I do know you are organized and ready for the challenge;) 
best wishes to you all;)  
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