Hello All:
Thanks for all the encouragment. As a caregiver and reading all the messages I know I should be taking time out for myself and yet, as most of us know, it is hard to do.
Yesterday proved to be exceptionally difficult as after I said John was having some chest pains he slept then about 3 hours later he called me telling me he was going, meaning he felt like he was going to pass.
His heart was beating so fast and he was labouring for his breath. Gave him his nitro spray, set the oxygen up to0 6, put him on his breakthrough morphine and on his nebulizer. He looked at me after he had settled down and said, "Maybe you should put me in a hospital as it is hard for you to look after me" No, I replied and he went to sleep. About 2 hours later he was having more breakthrough pain and had more morphine and slept the night away. All he had to eat was juice and some gingerale as he is a diabetic on insulin and he has to have some nourishment.
I called the Palliative care nurse before the second episode and she called back and told me I had done the correct things and that was what they would have recommended and felt I knew what I was doing and had all things under control. She called John's doctor, he wasn't in so his partner who was on duty took the call and felt there was not much else we could do as she had suggested having a stronger Nitro patch and he said no, other than if this episode keeps repeating itself to ambulance him to hospital. I agreed and the nurse will come to-morrow.
I will speak to the nurse and see if I can get some extra palliative care time for the evening. I would ask the kids to come spend the night but they have to come from Vancouver and go back to their jobs. I do get help from them and apprecite it very much, however, our youngest daughter has my brother living with her and he is very ill as well. He has COPD, etc. etc, so she has two very ill persons she cares for and I cannot ask any more.
Other than that I will try my best to rest, just as I am going to do after I finish this, John is sleeping and it is raining. Will be a big storm to-morrow and the day after, winds, etc so I have prepared for that, making sure I have the oxygen cylinders ready as when the lights go out the concentrator will not deliver oxygen...no power. Have lights ready to go in case the power goes out. Have lots of meds and food I can prepare in a jiffy with Hot water which I keep in insulated bottles, etc and add it to the dry soup mix as well as Glucerna and Boost drinks, cheese and crackers for John and instant oatmeal. All things we used to keep on hand when we lived up north and got snowed in, of course we had a wood stove in the basement and living room so we could always be warm and have food cooked.
All for now. Take care and thanks again.
Xenia