Hello Dar
Thank you for sharing your inner thoughts. It can be difficult to put into words, the feelings we have when someone you love is no longer in your life. Life seems empty and meaningless without our loved one.
Three years ago, April 1st, I lost my husband of 43 years. Avery was 64 years old which also seemed too young, since he was so young at heart! We went through cancer treatments for stomach cancer, stem cell and were told that he was cancer free. Three weeks later, he was gone. I understand, the hope you had for Ron to be cancer free. We never give up do we? Even after I was told he only had a few days left, I never accepted his imminent death.
We grieve in our own way and there is no time limit, although people may suggest that. Take time to grieve and don't expect too much of yourself. Every moment is a challenge to get on with our day. You will be bombarded by people saying, "how are you doing?" which is only their way of saying, I am thinking of you. We want to lash out and yell back at them! "How do you think I am! I just lost my husband! " I was so upset one time, I said, Not too good, and it felt terrific to express my feelings!
I know that this site will assist you through the grieving process as it did me and gives you the serenity you so need right now and the courage to carry on.
Regards, Jane