Good morning Lilbear.
I read your recent post last night and again this morning and was struck with the reminder of how terribly isolating grief can be. There seems to often be a drawing in on oursevles, especially when the hurt and the need to cope pushes us to the edge of what resources we have.
I also find that health related anxiety can creep in, espcially after losses that were health related as yours were, and the anxiety that can come with our own aging and health, and then there's the pandemic and the anxiety and fear COVID has forced upon us. There can be just so much. I also find that during the day there are many distractions that can keep our mind busy but when we lay down at night, in the quiet of the dark our anxious mind can sound really loud. I found progressive muscle relaxation to be really helpful either falling asleep, or if I woke in the night and had difficulty falling back asleep. You Tube is full of examples and I played around with a few to find ones I liked the best.
This forum can be a helpful place to reach out and feel connected with others. I'll make sure to keep my eye out for any new posts you might feel comfortable making.
Sending warm thougts,
AMT