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Réponse de Cath1
24 janv. 2012, 12 h 20

Hi Livvy:
Welcome to Virtual Hospice!Smile

Thank you for sharing some of your background and experience here with us. I look forward to reading your posts in the future. I'm sure I will learn a lot from you as you help others to better understand the end of life experience in hospice.

In my newly defined life after a loved one's death, my mother's, I want to share my own experiences and perspectives with others as I hope to learn from theirs. Virtual Hospice is a great place to receive support and to offer comfort through sharing and learning and expressing the many complex feelings we have about life and death and dying.

For me, it is not only about exploring the end of life and the nature of grief, it is about striving to fully appreciate the essence of life and our connectedness through relationships so that we may all better understand and accept the many stages of our natural transformations. 
 
24 janv. 2012, 14 h 55

Welcome Livvy. Thank you for joining the community at Virtual Hospice. By sharing here, you indeed will be helping many. 

I love the way Cath points out that we are not only exploring the end of life, but "striving to fully appreciate the essence of life".

Talk to you both soon.
Colleen
 
Réponse de Cath1
24 janv. 2012, 15 h 27

Thanks Colleen!

You're kind comment lifts my spirits and makes my morning so much sunnier!
Have a happy day!Smile
 
Réponse de SherriT
29 janv. 2012, 0 h 25

My name is Sherri and I live in Ottawa.  My parents both have cancer and live in Wpg.  My only ssibling lives in Vancouver.  My mom is the the most serious, she has metastatic colon cancer and chemo isn't working.  She and my dad live in their own home and my dad is stubborn and refuses to move.  I am trying to help,from afar but I work full time anHama married with a 15 yr old daughter.  I struggle with guilt that I am not there.  They don't have much support there beyond professionals.  I have made contact with the social worker at the cancer clinic and that has been helpful.  Anyway any suggestions re long distance caregiving would be appreciated.  I would lmove them to move but as I said my dad won't.  He is not a caregiving type and I don't know if the home care system in Wpg would be enough to keep her at home.
 
Réponse de Anniemedic
16 févr. 2012, 14 h 18

My name is Ann, I recently lost my Dad in December. I am a Paramedic and I am interested in how other healthcare providers feel and cope providing end life care to a loved one.  I am currently having a difficult time returning to work after his death. 
I look forward to connecting with all of you, and sharing experiences.  I believe that peer support is soimportant in the process of dealing with anticipatory grief as well as the grieving and the roller coaster that is the cancer journey. 

 
 
Réponse de NatR
16 févr. 2012, 15 h 55

Hi Ann,
Thanks for writing with your feelings.
As a former personal support worker who had to deal with death and the various stages of palliative care - I can i think, sympathise with you.  

It doesn't make it easier to accept loss in your own family circle - just because you work in the health care field.  In some ways I think that the losses we experience on the job, the stress that goes along with holding yourself as a professional  trying to be a bit removed and controlled in your reactions to watching decline and end of life (showing a professional face and trying to be a rock for others) - it makes it harder to cope with all the emotional backup that we store - and then have to grieve when it hits you personally as in the loss of your dad.

I send you my deepest sympathy in the loss of your father 
Try not to beat yourself up over needing time to grieve.  We all heal in different ways - and talking about it certainly helps

I lost my father many years ago and it was harder for me because our relationship was rocky - he had mental illness and refused treatment - and I took it hard - knowing now there was no way to fix it or repair the lost relationship.

I alsolovingly momwith dementia, living a long way from me.  I have to go see her in a few weeks to help with a move to a new facility.  I haven't seen her personally in two years except for photos- and I know that the reunion will be hard on me 

Mom doesn't know us anymore -and in some ways I feel I am grieving for her inability to even know what she has lost.  She is no longer the same person in life - and there is no way to fix that.

See how this conversation has brought out my personal feelings also:)
It is important to feel in order to heal - thanks for starting the conversation 

I hope that starting a chat about this will help you to heal and get back to your very important job of caring for others.  We are all human - despite how hard we try to cover up our feelings - let it out, keep talkimg and don't feel it's a weakness to express your innermost feelings

Take one day at a time and I hope that this response helps in a small way.
Sincerely nat


 
 
16 févr. 2012, 16 h 35

Welcome Ann. I'm glad you found Virtual Hospice. I'm reaching out to other people whose situation closely resembles yours. It helps to talk to others who've been there.

Nat, you clearly can relate. Did you also see the thread Ann started here:
Other healthcare providers providing care for a family member

See you both there.
Colleen 
 
Réponse de nanalovesu
20 mars 2012, 6 h 28

Hi Colleen,
Well, here I am to share my experience as a caregiver for my husband who passed away in May 2011 of cancer. He was 57 and I am 52, now a widow.  It was his wish to pass away at home which I full filled with love and tears.  I have experienced  life while holding my children when they were born and experienced death, holding my husband when he died.  Funny how I hate to use that word - died. It touches the loss in my heart and still brings tears.  Grieving is a very complicated process in life. I don't know if I have any words of comfort to those going thru such a difficult time, however, I am here to share my experiences.  I certainly can relate, understand and let those in need know I care. They are not alone.

Sincerely,
Nanalovesu
 
20 mars 2012, 14 h 41

Welcome Nanalovesu,

You are so right that grieving is a complicated process. I'm grateful that you are willing to share what you are going through so honestly. There's no doubt that this will others. It's not words of comfort that are necessarily needed, but shared experiences to let people know they're not alone. And to do just that, I hope you'll join some of our newer members on the thread loss of husband. 

Thank you!
Colleen 
 
Réponse de NatR
20 mars 2012, 14 h 50

Hi Nanalovseu,

So sorry for your loss, words are hard to come by when talking about grief.  But I know your words will be helpful to others.

  I am sending you strength for today.  We can support each other by sharing our burdens.

Best wishes and hope that Spring is reaching you as it is reaching us in northern Canada. Spend today knowing that you have already reached out to me and to the others who read this message board.
sincerely,
 Nat


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