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Réponse de lilbear
20 mai 2014, 16 h 25

Hello,
I am having a rough go right now. It feels like I am not going to get ahead...
As you know, I reopened the store in April. I closed the week of my Moms "anniversary" (May 8) and Mother's Day, as I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it.
This week I was to open again like normal but my daughter got sick. My husband was off so he was going to open for me. When he got there, he thought I had been broken down into...the place was messed up some and things were on the floor, etc. Turns out, a squirrel had gotten in and was wreaking some damage. I was not able to open, obviously. 
The squirrel has been caught and relocated, but my store is a mess! When I tried to let people know, via social media, that I was closed due to unforeseen circumstances, since I wasn't sure I wanted to say a squirrel was in there....I had a nasty person comment. She said..."so what else is new!" I wanted to yell and type back...listen you have no idea how much I have been through! I didn't though, I blocked her and deleted the comment....and cried.
Its so easy for people to judge and I am constantly told to justshrug it off and let it go...don't take it so personally. But, thats who I am. I cant change it.
It has however served to remind me that I do not want this retail store! I have had it with the pressures and stress. My family is number 1! My daughter is still not completely well enough to go back to school. I need to stay home with her. I want to be able to do that without anyone feeling they have the right to know everything and tell me what to do!
Unfortunately,  I do have a lease until March 2015. I do have to pay my bills, etc...I wish when one madea major decision,  it could just happen instead of having to wait and handle more before I can feel happy.
I am feeling so sad and overwhelmed.
Paula 
 
Réponse de marstin
20 mai 2014, 16 h 39

Hi Paula,

I'm just on my way out but wanted to send you a virtual hug. Remember that you don't owe anyone an explanation. Some people are nothing but negative. It is Your store, it will be run Your way. I can't say what I would like to in response to that person. They don't matter.

I will write more when I return home but for now all I can say is take deep breaths. You are doing the best that you can.

Hugs,
Tracie
 
Réponse de NatR
20 mai 2014, 16 h 42

Dear Paula,

i am sorry to hear how difficult things have been for you
the irritating remarks that are thoughtless and uncalled for, the damage, the wear and tear on your family, your marriage, your daughter , your very soul....

its a lot to handke
yes if only we could see into the future and know how things will  unfold
unfortunately it's only by going through things and looking backward - do we learn what we might have done differently or better

try and give yourself a pat on the back Paula for persevering, for working so hard through loss and grief, through the trials of business and all that has happened .

i  am sure you will get other notes of support;)
glad you wrote in to share your feelings and let us know how things are going
burdens shared are a bit lighter on the shoulders...
best wishes and a big hug just for you!!
natR 
 
Réponse de lilbear
20 mai 2014, 17 h 21

Thank you for the quick responses.  I desperately needed the support...
 
 
Réponse de marstin
20 mai 2014, 18 h 59

Hi,

What I do when the load seems far too heavy is to stop, close my eyes, take a deep breath and mentally turn around and look back at all that I have accomplished in the time since the losses. I then pat myself on the back and tell myself that I can do this, I have travelled so far. There will always be those things and people that seem to try to knock you off course but you are a survivor. You have tackled things that so few could even imagine dealing with and you are winning. Of course there will be times that you just want to admit defeat, grief has a way of dong that, and it's okay to allow yourself to give in for a short time but you are not a quitter. Don't allow others judgement to hurt you, they are unimportant. Your family is by far the most important thing in your life and if some jerk of a person doesn't like it then do you really want them as a customer? Nope. I have found that dealing with judgemental people has brought out the humor in me (it took me a long time to get there) and I bat their cruelty into the air. They are so unimportant. My brother who was causing me great pain, I cut the cord with him. I felt like a weight had been lifted off of me. Try to surround yourself with kind, loving, caring and supportive people.It makes this journey feel less lonely. There will be bumps in the road (like that squirrel) but you're going to be okay.

Hugs,
Tracie
 
Réponse de KathCull_admin
20 mai 2014, 19 h 33

Hi Paula
I echo what Tracie and NatR have said - you have worked hard through very difficult circumstances. Congratulations!  From what you have said of your mum - I think she would be very proud of you.  

The squirrel did a lot of costly damage - but perhaps his/her actions helped you to see what you really want? (I know - I am a Pollyanna:)

I hope your daughter is better soon. I love spending time with my daughter too.

Katherine 
 
Réponse de lilbear
20 mai 2014, 20 h 05

Thank you! I have come a long way! I forget it sometimes or perhaps I just take it as normal and just doing what had to be done...never really giving myself credit for how much I have been able to do.
I have a friend who insists on telling me that I am her hero, as she cannot begin to imagine herself in my shoes and surviving. I don't feel like a hero...just stubborn maybe!?
I cannot help but feel that things happen for a reason. Perhaps, the weeks events - especially the squirrel were absolute signs. In the 20+ years that my Mom owned the business, we have never dealt with the number of things that I have endured! 
My daughter has her first communion this Sunday and I am very tempted to just remain closed this week. I haven't had a chance to get into the store to clean up...and you can imagine how much needs to be cleaned! I think maybe I should just accept this week as a write off...and take the time I want to make this Sunday the best day ever. When I get back to opening next week...I will start with some sales. 
In some ways, despite the stress it has all caused, I am somewhat relieved because I think I have made my decision!
Hmmmm....my Dad was a red head and it was a red squirrel....he always said I was a stubborn redhead, maybe it was him, finally finding a way to get me to listen! :)
Paula 
P.S.  Do you think it sounds bad to people  that a squirrel was in the store? Would you feel grossed out or dirty finding that out about a gift store? 
 
Réponse de NatR
20 mai 2014, 21 h 02

I would think that your comments about your dad and the squirrel were funny! 
Yes take it as a sign:)
at least this is giving you an excuse to focus on your own family - and regardless of how this week turns out - life will go on, everything will carry on  - and work out - I believe that !

dont worry about the squirrel  - just pick up and carry on!
if some of your stock is damaged - let it go anc work wit's what's still good!
things happen and you just have to keep moving forward !

whatever the spirits are trying to tell you, I think you have the message now;)
its not always in plain English. But you can go with your gut!
best wishes on this Sundays plans and first communion;)
hugs
natR  
 
Réponse de marstin
05 juin 2014, 16 h 35

Hi Paula,

I was thinking about you this morning and thought I would take a moment to touch base with you and see how things are going. Did you manage to get the mess cleaned up from the red squrrel (your dad) and get the store up and running again?

I'm in the midst of major reno's happening in my house and find that I'm constantly on edge with people in and out of my house all day. I will be so relieved when it's all done and then comes the sad part, putting it on the market. It was supposed to all be done by Monday but I think it will realistically be another 2 weeks due to unforseen issues.

How was your daughter's first communion?  I'm sure there were angels watching over her. My daughter graduates today from her program at college and I feel so proud of her. She has struggled so hard the past two years from losing her dad and her grandma and still she has achieved her goal. I know they will be there as she accepts her certificate.

Your friend that thinks you are a hero is definitely a keeper. I have two friends like that and they are my strength. We survive these things but it changes us forever. I would like to think that it changes us in mostly positive ways and challenges us to become stronger and with a deeper understanding of life.

I hope you're having a great day.

Hugs,
Tracie
 
Réponse de KathCull_admin
04 juil. 2014, 12 h 39

Hello everyone,
It's a lovely sunny morning here - I hope the same is true where you live. The squirrels are chattering and chasing each other down our sidewalk.

Paula, how are things going at the store? When our daughter was younger I remember wanting to be home, but needing to juggle work, camps for her, and all the other things that go along with being a family.

Marstin, are your renovations coming to an end? NatR it is true that messages are not always in words:)

A new member HopeG posted to Loss of Mom early this morning. Could I ask you to respond to her as you are able? Thanks very much for considering.
Katherine 


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