Hi CarrieK,
I’d like to offer my thoughts on your query about visitors.
People want to help and often don’t know how. They visit (and overstay their welcome) without realizing that this type of “help” is not helpful, at least not for you and your husband at this time. It also seems that dropping in and visiting is a common custom in your small town. While you understandably want to dedicate your energy to your husband, your children and take care of your own needs, you can’t deny the community of which you are a part.
I think you need to be very clear with everyone about what your family needs right now. Along with asking them for their understanding and to give you privacy, tell them how they can help. Perhaps they could:
- Do the grocery shopping (give them a list)
- Drive you or your children somewhere
Telling people how they can help and giving them updates can be very tiring. Do you have a trusted friend or family member who could be the “door keeper” for you? Find someone who could update people with the news – only as much as you want to share – and who could coordinate help. There are several free websites that can organize and coordinate help in exactly this way.
Here’s an article
Tips on Visiting that the Virtual
Hospice team wrote. Perhaps you can share these ideas with your unexpected visitors.
Carol, how are you managing with visitors and questions? How was the bone scan yesterday?