The ending of your posting touched me, Glasslady.  It is me, (eKim), and the others at Virtual Hospice who will be keeping you and your husband in our thoughts and prayers.  I am assuming that you are the caregiver and it is your husband who is getting the prognosis. 

Sometimes, hope can be mistaken for denial.  Is it such a bad thing to hope for the best possible outcome, the longest life possible, even when facing a grim prognosis?  Is it a good thing, if the end result is a calm, bright demeanor? Is it not the goal of palliative care (whether we are talking about days, weeks, months or years) to maximize our comfort and the quality of our lives?

I have observed that denial seems to be a fairly common response by people.  It can raise some difficult questions and problems, of course.  However, in one way, denial is easier to deal with than many of the emotional and/or negative reactions that accompany a prognosis. 

In some cases it keeps the one who is ill in a calmer state of mind.  This may not be intellectually honest, but it might serve an emotional purpose, allowing them to get the most out of their time, rather than spending many days in a negative and emotionally draining state.  This, of course is merely my unqualified observation.  I would seek some professional opinions, if I were you.

Yes, Doctor Wolfelt's books are wonderful.  I (as a hospice resident support volunteer) attended one of his lectures.  It was very, very good.

Remember, if either you and/or your husband would like some support during these difficult times, simply post something and people will respond. 

The input from many sources sometimes is more helpful that input from a single source.  It allows one to pick and choose those comments which are most appropriate.  Also, the input from a compassionate stranger who is not emotionally invested - because they are not close to you - can be helpful in clarifying your thoughts when your emotions are running high. 

I wish the two of you all the best.    – eKim