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Réponse de Nouce
29 mars 2015, 18 h 24

Razz,

Sending good thoughts your way. I don't have much advice, especially because I live in the States and the systems here, although also a mess, work differently. I know when I was caring for my parents, who both failed together and I had a really tough last two years with them both before they died, I got myself a good attorney. This really helped. And because the bank did let me come on as co-signer on their account, I could use their money to pay for the advice.

Wishing you wisdom and some quicker results toward your own sanity.

Nouce
 
Réponse de KathCull_admin
01 mai 2015, 13 h 25

Hello Razz, KCBJ, Oldbat and Nouce


I am looking outside through our rather dirty windows, at an old, seemingly strong tree - the sun is shining and I can hear the children laughing on their way to school. How are things outside your windows these days?


I was wondering how things are unfolding in each of your corners of the earth.


Katherine
 
Réponse de Nouce
01 mai 2015, 13 h 55

Thanks, Katherine, and greetings to all. It's cold and rainy here, but the redbuds--a Southern specialty--are still at their peak. I wish I could send you alll a picture.


I'm hoping for a sunny tomorrow, to plant some sorrel and sunflowers.  If Pablo is up to it and it's not too muddy, I will wheel him out to give advice--as he was and in some senses still is--the true gardener.


Love and warm thoughts,


Nouce
 
01 mai 2015, 15 h 19

What a lovely question Katherine. It makes me feel like we could be having a cup of tea together.

I have such a splendid view from my office window today that I just had to share it with everyone.
Nouce, if you could zoom in, you would see young sorrel leaves poking up in front of the chives and strawberries. I love sorrel in salads and soups.

Sending sunshine to the people and places that need some today.
Colleen

Apricot in bloom in my backyard
 
Réponse de Razz
01 mai 2015, 21 h 49

You all sound so well and ...... um "springy"?  Not quite sure how to describe it.  It's nice to hear even if I'm not feeling that way myself.  This past weekend my husband and I were in the mountains to celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary.  We had the full gambit of weather while we were there from bright sun to rain to snow!  Typical for this time of year however.   

I don't want to be the voice of "Eeyore" on this thread so I won't go into details of the challenges that I've been going through since I last wrote.  Let's just say that it has not been boring and if I was sweater I am scrambling to stop from unravelling.  I finally reached out to a private counsellor and have my first appointment with him in about an hour from now.  The upside being that it can't make anything worse Smile .  Financially uncomfortable but some things are hard to put a price tag on.  

I hope you all have great weekends.  

Razz  
 
Réponse de Razz
01 mai 2015, 22 h 45

Um... is it OK to feel just a bit sorry for myself.  My appointment with the therapist was just cancelled as he's been called out to deal with some "trauma".  This is a good thing to know that he'll do that but leaves me feeling rather disappointed.  He's actually re-booked me for Sunday afternoon!!!   I think I like this guy already Wink

Razz 
 
02 mai 2015, 0 h 06

Dear Razz,

If there ever was a place where one should be free to be Eeyore, it is here. Please share whatever you need to share. As they say, a burden shared is a burden halved. I'm not sure if the arithmetic on that is accurate, but perhaps sharing can help lighten the load.  

I'm sorry that your therapis had to cancel your appointment. Can we help bridge the time until Sunday (wow!) when you see him?
Colleen
 
Réponse de Razz
02 mai 2015, 1 h 00

Thank you Colleen.   

I've had clinical depression with anxiety for most of my adult life.  My mental well being fluctuates but since this past fall my anxiety levels have been through the roof!!!   My doctor has put me on a new med. while very slowly tapering off the old one.  I haven't noticed any differences yet.  

MOTHER's demetia is getting worse which really adds to my anxiety.  When ever I see her I never know what new "fire" will I be putting out.  The whole "taxes" thing has been taken care of - thank goodness - but she forgets that I took everything to the accountant.  When I went to pick her up on Tues. she was very aggitated and worried about not getting her "income tax" done on time and she told me I really screwed it up.  Sigh.  She has to pay her taxes quarterly and what she was talking about was the "notice" about her payments.  She was having a fit because there "was" a payment due June 15th.  When I told her we had lots of time to pay it she said "NO we don't - it's July already!"    

The last couple of weeks I've been keeping track of her meds to see if she's been taking them and she's missed quite a few even though she insists that she takes them every night before she goes to bed.  While checking on the pills I notice that the bath towel and face cloth hadn't moved since last time I was there.  When I asked her when the last time she showered she said "oh last week"  but when I pointed out the towels and other clues she admited that she hasn't had a shower since she fell as she's scared to get out of the shower stall and fall!!!   She also hasn't washed her hari for that length of time as well.   So I told her that I would contact "Home Care" and have them come in and see what they can do to help her - even if it's just to have someone sit there while she showers (I know this is a service they will provide).  She agreed on Tues. but that could easily change by next Tues. when her case worker is coming to do another assessment.  

All of this made me start looking around at other things that may not be happening and when I came to her bed she told me that she would change it soon..... once she was feeling better.  OMG..... her bed has not been changed since the last time I did it in Dec.!!! When I confronted her about the bed she admitted that she doesn't want any strangers changing her bed. Cry So I stripped the bed and brought all the linens home to wash along with some other things that have been sitting around getting pretty grungy looking as well.   I don't have to tell you that I'm feeling pretty guilty about not checking on that sooner.  

In the meantime my youngest daughter who has been living in a very verbally abusive relationship for the past 3+ years found out that she's pregnant again.  She already has an adorable little 2 1/2 yr. old daughter with him but she's been talking about leaving him from a time before our granddaughter was born.  It's a situation that I can do absolutely nothing about but it worries and concerns me.  I also don't feel like our granddaughter is learning how a loving household works.  What has always been her "normal" is not very pleasant a lot of the time.  

Oh ..... and I'm having health issues of my own (chronic bladder infections) so I'm going for a "scope" on Wed. to see if they can find out what's wrong with me.  I'm torn between being worried that they'll find something and being worried that they won't find anything!  Yep - kind of stress inducing.   

And so on it goes .............    there's other junk going on as well but it's minor stuff compared to those two concerns of mine and they are both making it difficult for me to get a handle on the anxiety that I've been feeling.  

Since I've had to deal with a lot of anxiety over the years I have a "tool box" of things I can do that are supposed to help lower the level and help me keep a handle on it.  Well none of them are working right now which is why I want to see a therapist.  I do need help NOW or I'll be singing "Boom, Boom, ain't it great to be crazy?" in a lovely padded room.   Though on the face of that it doesn't seem like such a bad thing - 3 squares a day and someone else taking care of "life at home".   

Razz  
 
Réponse de oldbat
02 mai 2015, 2 h 59

Welcome to CVH Razz, you've come to the right place to share your sorrow, anger and despair.  All truly justified.

I know first hand just how devastating acute anxiety can be.  As a sad little side-dish to clinical depression, it literally renders you helpless.  Unable, or only just able, to put one foot in front of another to take the next baby step.  But take it we all must, and do.

I've suffered from that kind of anxiety and depression since I was in my very early teens (long story!) and when my husband suffered a catastrophic stroke three years ago, it nearly killed me.  Please, please, please ask your family physician for help.  After many ultimately useless trips through the anti-anxiety "pams" (all addictive!), I was finally prescribed Lyrica (pregabalin) recently.  It has changed my world.  My situation remains the same (husband paralyzed, aphasic and brain damaged - in long-term care), but my ability to cope with it has undergone an enormous shift.  The anxiety is gone.  The depression may remain but it's manageable these days.  And I can actually cope.

Lyrica is actually an anti-seizure drug.  Physicians prescribing it for that reason have noticed over the years that it has a remarkable effect on General Anxiety Disorder, which we both apparently suffer from.  As a result, Lyrica is now licensed in the U.S. to relieve GAD, however that is not the case in Canada, where its given "off the book".  It does have side effects (what drug doesn't) and I've read many adverse reviews about it on-line, along with some as glowing as mine!  So I can only relate my own experience with it.

Please do check this out, it could really help you.  As will everyone here at CVH.  It's been a lifeline for me.  So please do keep coming back.  We do care.

oldbat
 
Réponse de KCBJ
02 mai 2015, 4 h 16

Hi everyone! Thanks for the call back Kath. Razz welcome! I'm still hanging in. The dogs and i are adjusting to our change. Like to tell you all I've been partying up a storm but alas not to be. I do go out with friends periodically but because my pack are left alone all day while I'm at work i feel guilt and actually prefer to be home now.

I've been dealing with nerve damage to my right thigh and a compressed disc in my lower back causing severe pain to my left leg. Neverending. But I shall survive as usual. Was gungho in cleaning up the duplicates of duplicates of things we collected. Became too overwhelming. Now I figure I've lived with it long enough that  it will get cleaned out when i get around to it. Have to be extremely careful how I turn bend or lift. 

 Razz. Read your post. I had my mother with me for about 20 years. She also among many other ailments suffered from severe dementia. She passed away this past September at 99 years old. But during those 20 odd years my mother became increasingly verbal abusive to where it culminated  with daily verbal attacks. It is not  easy. your mothrr unfortunately will become progressively worse.

I don't know where you reside. I'm in manitoba canada. so I'll suggest based on that and maybe you can look into getting help for your mom. First,  we have a senior's gude that provides lots of information about what the province can aid in. See if there is one in your area. Your mother's care coordinator should be able to arrange for daily home care  depending on her needs such ad aiding in washing etc. The government also has another home care service called family managed. This service allows you to hire a home care service or hire a family member. I would stay away from the latter. The government pays for the service for the hours allotted your mother.

Check out the seniors book for other services. I'm sure you can find services that can help.

Well everyone good to hear from you. Anytime Kath. :-)


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