Hi Linda. I am Wingman. I find your posts resonate with me. I myself am not sick- my friend has a terminal diagnosis. She has some family but none of them know. I go to as many appointments and treatments with her as I can. It is road both rough and at times golden. The hard times are just plain that- they are hard and nothing if only bearable at best. Other times have a changed perspective- I am a stronger person, I am a sadder person.
I enjoyed your description of the old Reed organs. I am from a small town and also play. I have played at the odd cathedral where the pipes reached to the rafters and the stained glass.shook while the keys and pedals pressed on. I played my grandparents funerals also. To appreciate song and tune is truly a wonderful gift and you must feel reward to be part of instilling it in young people. I treasure the memories of my early teachers. Glad you have a place to escape to.
I escape to my pony. She brings me peace and safety.
While I realize my perspective is completely different, I do share some of your experience regarding friends becoming distanced. People react in unpredictable ways when dealing with difficult circumstances. I felt.angry at first, and have at times felt very lonely while I travel beside my friend on this path. You mentioned one friend who is supportive- I hope you are able to share with this friend and can find some weight shared. I have found a woman who I refer to as my earth angel. She has lost a friend to cancer and has become a rock a provides a sense of balance. One good set of ears can make the difference.
I hope you keep writing- there is a remarkable sense of understanding here and the ability to share the weights can inspire.
WM