Hi Tammy (winter):

It's so good to hear you sounding a little more relaxed and accepting of whatever is meant to be for your Mom. It's very good to know that you are finding a way to pace yourself with respect to visits with your Mom. By taking some time to replenish your energies when you have time at home you are doing both your Mom and you a favour.

In my situation with my Mom, she had become ill suddenly and died a week later. When someone is ill for a much longer period of time it is very hard on their loved ones and caregivers to maintain a constant vigil. You need rest for certain because you don't know with any certainty when your Mom's time with you will end. You will need to keep up your spirits and your stamina so when you are able to visit with her you can continue to be strong for her and for yourself and your husband and family.

I took a videos and photos of my Mom regularly and I know when your Mom is no longer physically in your presence, the videos you have taken will indeed bring you great comfort! I still have my Mom's voice mail messages to me on tape as well, and I will keep them forever. I don't listen to them very often and in fact I haven't listened to them for months now, but just knowing I can hear her voice if I need to helps me feel better and brings her closer to me. Her voice and her laughter especially, I miss terribly. On one message she is telling me a funny little story about her day and she is so full of herself and her own sense of humour as she gleefully relates her story to me. She began to laugh so hard while speaking that she could barely finish her message to me, but it gladdens my heart to hear her sounding so happy and full of life and joy! Together we often got carried away by giddiness, sharing jokes no one else would understand or find so amusing, but we did and that's all that mattered to us!:-)

Tonight I am thinking of you, Tammy and wishing that you will share more smiles than tears each time you are with your Mom. I also hope that when your Mom does leave this world for the next that you will know that the love you give to your Mom, and she to you, will never pass away. Your memories are yours to forever cherish.

You have no doubt learned many deep life lessons throughout this arduous journey with your Mom, from the way things might have been done differently medically to the decisions, limitations and realities you each had to accept and could not change, but I know that the most profound lessons of love will linger the longest and you will carry them with you all of your days! Peace will come from knowing that your mother-daughter bond of love is powerful, expansive, healing and heartfelt and its enduring essence will live on within you and within your Mom eternally. Dwell on the sacred expressions of love that you have had the time and the privilege of sharing privately together with your Mom and may each precious moment and poignant memory fill your heart with perpetual peace.

With affection -hugs- xo and prayers for your Mom and you and your family.
Cath1